Stress

I just need to ramble for a minute. This will probably not make much sense and will definitely not be presented in a cohesive fashion, so I understand if no one can read it!

I am getting ready to take Jack to his one year doctors appointment this afternoon. I have a huge pit in my stomach, because, I am very nervous. All everyone wants when they are pregnant is a healthy child. Minus some ear infections and colds, Jack has been pretty healthy. However, I can’t shake the feeling that there is something not quite right.

He seems to be delayed in some areas. While he babbles a lot, he doesn’t use many words. And, the ones that he does use, he doesn’t seem to use in a meaningful way. He does say what I think is ball when he is playing with the little basketballs we have in the bathtub. He also knows that I am mom. He doesn’t point at things that he wants or at items on a page in a book. He seems to be on target in the movement category. He was delayed in that area as well (he didn’t decide to crawl until he was over 10 months old). But, now he crawls like a mad man, he pulls up on the furniture, cruises around, and has even taken a few steps on his own. He’s not walking yet, but that’s normal. Only half of children actually walk by their first birthday. I’m not stressed about that.

He doesn’t really like to play with toys that much. He would carry around a tube of orajel or a bottle of lotion all day…but the tons of toys all over our living room…not so much. He does like books, but he doesn’t want you to read them to him. He would rather sit with the book and flip through the pages, looking at the pictures.

You hear so much about autism…and how boys are three or four times more likely to have it. I will fully admit, I am a hypochondriac. I always think that something is wrong with me or someone I love. However, mothers intuition is usually pretty good.

I am worried about what the doctor will say. I’m worried that she will completely dismiss my concerns (which I don’t think she will. I love our doctor and she really does listen to what we have to say and takes the time to answer our questions). Or, I am worried that she will be concerned about what I have to say.

I have discussed some of my concerns with Ryan. He doesn’t think that there is anything going on. I haven’t really mentioned this to anyone else, mainly because I feel quite crazy. I just want my baby to be happy and healthy throughout his life. I want to do everything I can to provide him with a great life.

So, I am getting ready to leave work to head to the pediatricians office. We will see what Dr. Hulsen has to say. I’m freaking out!

UPDATE

Well, we went to the doctor yesterday. I will have a post later today about all his stats, etc. However, I discussed my concerns with Dr. Hulsen. She was great and listened to everything that I had to say. She said that his lack of pointing could be cause for concern, but that just looking at Jack, she didn't think that we needed to be overly concerned. He follows conversations, he makes eye contact, he smiles, he talks (kids at his age are supposed to have one word, he has four that he uses regularly (mama, dada, up, and ball)) and babbles. She said that if it is something that I am truly concerned about that she would definitely send us for a developmental assessment. But, based on the things that we were telling her, she did not think that we needed to be overly concerned. So, I decided that I would wait and see what he is doing around the time of his 15 month checkup in August. If I am still feeling uneasy or some concern, then I am going to have her send us for the assessment...just so that I can have some peace of mind. Until then, I am going to attempt to not obsessively Google things!