2011 in Review

1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?

I went to a professional conference alone (I normally go with colleagues or take students)...and actually did this twice.  The first was a HUGE deal with big, important people from schools like Harvard and Yale.  And, I didn't make a fool of myself.  In fact, I think that I sounded intelligent in most conversations!  

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

My biggest New Years Resolution was to lose weight...and I started off well.  I will say that at this point, I actually weigh less than I did when I started the year...and I am nearly 23 weeks pregnant.  So, while I didn't hit that goal of losing 30 pounds this year, I have made progress, and will get back at it.  I don't know if I will make New Years Resolutions this year or not.  If I do, I think they will just have to do with loving my family and spending as much time with them and my friends as possible.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

My best friend had a baby girl in April.  Another friend just gave birth to a little boy 10 days ago...he was early and very tiny but is doing amazingly well.  My sister in law also had a baby girl in October--her sixth!  Wowza!  

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Thankfully, no.  It was a quiet year...which my family desperately needed after the last few years we have had.

5. What countries did you visit?

Absolutely none.  Although I did have to fly through Atlanta...and I'm pretty sure that airport can count as it's own country.  

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you didn’t have in 2011?

This is really hard.  I feel like I have so much and have had so many blessings.  I would like to have more time with my family and friends.  As my friends all start their families, it is even harder to make time for each other...but I know how amazing just a little time with them can be.  

I guess that better control of my finances would be another one.  This seems to haunt me from year to year.  

7. What dates from 2011 will be etched upon your memory, and why?

August 7--the day I found out I was going to be a mommy again.  October 24--my 30th birthday.  November 7--the day that it was confirmed that I will be taking on a new job in July 2012 that will utterly change my career and probably in some ways, change my life (and I haven't been able to really talk about it much, but hope that is about to change after the start of the new year).  December 8--the day it was confirmed that baby number 2 is a boy (and appears healthy)

8. What was your biggest achievement of this year?

I guess that I have a personal one and a professional one.  In my personal life, it would be that we decided to have a second child and were able to conceive this little guy.  Professionally, it would be sticking up for myself and asking for what I know I deserve. 

9. What was your biggest failure?

Not getting my finances in order.  And not thoroughly enjoying all of my time with my son.  I love him, but two years old is hard...and sometimes mama is very excited when bedtime rolls around.  

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

No. 

11. What was the best thing you bought?

My new iphone (hello love).  Also bought a new car (lower payment, brand new...love it).  

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Probably my husband who put up with my complete neurotic mindset through most of the year--and he didn't kill me (pretty sure he wanted to on multiple occasions).  

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

I can't think of an individual...more like groups of people.  Sometimes students drove me crazy this year.  Celebrities are insane for the most part.  Politicians in general.  The Obama-bashing people who think that the world is coming to an end.  

14. Where did most of your money go?

You know, mortgage, car, diapers (please let me get boy #1 pottytrained before boy #2 arrives).  Probably too many trips to restaurants.  

15. What did you get really excited about?

Learning I was pregnant (though that also scared the crap out of me), my new iphone (yup, I'm pathetic), and the prospect of new job responsibilities.  

16. What song will always remind you of 2011?

Probably something by Adele

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer?

I would like to say happier, but I'm probably about the same

Thinner by the scale, fatter by the maternity pants I'm currently sporting

Probably about the same

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Reading to my son.  Reading for myself.  Gotten more alone time (an hour a week...wow, that would be amazing).  Date nights with my husband (it's only going to get harder as we add to our family, but we really have to make a conscious effort to do this.  We went almost an entire year without a date night (that didn't involve attending a wedding).  

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Worrying.

20. How will you spend Christmas?

Running all over the place to see family.  But to me, that is Christmas.  

21. Did you fall in love in 2011?

I fell in love with my unborn child.  It is amazing how you can love something so much that you have haven't even met.  

22. What was your favorite TV program?

I watch way too much TV...but my favorites are Dexter (woah season finale last night), Grey's Anatomy, How I Met Your Mother, Glee (I'm still on board), and I recently discovered a love for The Big Bang Theory.  

23. What was the best book you read?

Honestly, I can't even remember.  Which is pathetic.  I have been doing so much research for work that my free time isn't spent reading for fun.  I have big plans to read over the holiday break though!  

24. What was your greatest musical discovery?

I love Adele.  

25. What did you want and get?

Pregnant.  A new car.  An iphone.  

26. What did you want and not get?

For my husband to get a new job with set hours that don't involve working most evenings and weekends. 

27. What was your favorite film of 2011?

Pretty sure that the only movie I saw in theaters was Harry Potter.  We don't get out much.  

28. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 30!  And for the first time in two years, I stayed at home alone during the day!  My son went to school that day and I got to enjoy some time at home...got a pedicure...went to lunch with a friend...laid in my bed for an hour.  It was blissful!  I got to have dinner with my family...and then a few days later went out to dinner with some friends.  

29. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Honestly, I'm not sure.  

30. How would you describe your personal fashion concept of 2011 ?

Ugh.  I have none.  Right now it is "does it fit?  Yes?  Put it on"

31. What kept you sane?

My husband, my friends, my sons hysterical laugh, Dr. Pepper

32. What political issue stirred you the most?

Obviously the economy is on everyone's minds right now.  I have already started to worry about the election next year.  Getting all of our troops out of Iraq this past weekend was great...my "baby" cousin just got home from Iraq and another has been before.  I would really like for our troops in Afghanistan to be removed as well before my cousin is sent there this summer.  Occupy Wall Street has kind of annoyed me more than anything. I get it...but sometimes I just want to tell people to get a job (any job).  I kind of lost it when a local TV station was interviewing one of the "occupiers" and they were complaining about how the only job they could get with their bachelor's degree was working at McDonalds.  Well...work at McDonalds.  My husband has a master's degree and works at a luggage store because he hasn't found a job in his field and he needs to help support our family.  You have to do what you have to do.  It sucks, but sometimes you do it.  (and I completely understand that there are people out there who can't even get jobs at McDonalds...but I think that many people could find SOMETHING if they stopped complaining...or even tried).  Okay, tirade over.  

33. Who did you miss?

I probably miss my best friend the most of all.  Since she had a baby in April, I haven't been able to see her much.  Actually, I haven't been able to see her since June.  Fortunately, we talk via email most days.  But, I still miss her face!  

I'm also missing my grandma terribly.  It hit me early in my pregnancy that my grandma would never meet this baby.  That was devastating to me.  She passed away 10 days after my oldest son was born...but she met him, and held him, and kissed his sweet cheeks.  I won't have that photo with this baby.  I miss her more than I thought...I think part of that has to do with the fact that I didn't properly grieve when she passed away because I was trying to survive with a newborn.  

34. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.

That people are generally good and will help out when they can.  That there are always people that have so much less to be thankful for than you do.  

35. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

I'm going to have to come back to this one...I'm lame and can't think of anything right now.  

Just a Pee Machine...

Yes, this is a post about pee...what has my life come to??

Before Jack was born, I heard all about how I would be peed on by my little boy. I was prepared for it. My sister thought it was hilarious to buy me "pee pee teepees" as a baby shower gift (they really don't work). When we brought Jack home and I was just learning how to change that little boy diaper, I got squirted a few times. No big deal.

Eventually we got into a rhythm and didn't have any more incidents. There was the time when he just started pulling up on stuff when he peed in the corner of his room (no, I don't typically let him run around naked...but he had just had a bath and squirmed away from me and crawled away. I was too busy laughing at that naked little but to grab him. Before I knew it, he was pulling up on the end of his crib and then peeing...like he knew what he was doing!). But, beyond that, we had pretty uneventful diaper changes.

Until about a month ago that is. All the sudden, every time we changed him, he peed all over the changing table. We have two covers for his changing table pad and it seems like one (or both) of them is always in the wash. It's like as soon as the fresh air hits him, he has to go! Sometimes it's just a little dribble, other times it is like a geyser! Every night at bath time, I undress him, take him into the bathroom, set him on the floor, and start the water. He has peed on the floor the past two nights! Yes, I realize I could run the water and then undress him. But this has been our routine for months. I haven't caught him in the act of doing it, otherwise I would tell him no. It's crazy! My mom thinks it is hilarious (she has two girls, so she knows nothing about boys! Her only comment is usually "Just wait until he can pull it out and pee whenever he wants too!". Thanks mom! That's super helpful. Ha ha!).

And now that I have lost any readers I might have for a hugely long post about pee, I will stop (hey, this blog is for me to remember things about Jack when he was growing up).

Fifteen Month Photos

I promised photos of Jack at 15 months.  So, here they are.  I had the brilliant idea to try to put him in the crib with the monkey and the sign again.  I knew it would be a disaster, but I figured I would try!

This was the first photo I took.  Actually not too bad!

And then he was off….

Playing with his mobile

Playing with the multiple signs I put in the bed to try to capture him at some point!

He sat down and just looked at me like “Seriously mom??  Can you stop doing this yet??”

And then we did some of this…

At that point, I let him out of the crib at taped a sign to his back since most of the photos I have of him are of him running away from me…

After our photo shoot, we were playing. 

I love this picture…he looks like he is seriously up to something!

I’m running!!!

Giving the baby doll kisses

Doing the “Itsy Bitsy Spider”

Hiding behind daddy!

 

Talking on the phone!

Woah! That was a busy day! 

Happy 15 month birthday Jack!  Mommy loves you!

Fifteen Months

Okay. First, I have said it before, but I will reiterate the fact that I am the worst blogger ever. School starts at my university next week and things are INSANE! I promise that once I get through our welcome activities I am going to actively attempt to be a better blogger. I'm so good at reading other blogs, but when it comes to actually putting words on the screen, I pretty much suck!

Whew! I'm glad that is out of the way. On to way more important things...like the fact that my baby is fifteen months old today! I cannot believe it! I feel like he should still be a teeny, tiny infant that just wanted to take a nap on me. But he's not a baby anymore.

He has turned into this crazy kid


He never stops moving!


So Jack, , lets do a little recap of you these days.

• You weigh about 24.5 pounds
• I have no idea how tall you are night now, but we will find out when you go to the doctor next week!
• You wear 18 month shirts and are still mostly wearing 12 month shorts. You have a little butt!
• You are an excellent sleeper and like to sleep in. You go to bed around 8:30 every night and sleep until about 9 the next morning.
  
• You are getting better at napping. You usually sleep from at least 1-3 in the afternoon. Some days it's longer. You are still not good at napping other places in pack and plays.
  
• You have entered a period of not wanting to eat lately. You are too busy to eat!
  
• That being said, you have discovered a love of raisins! You adore them and would probably eat multiple boxes a day if we let you.
  
• You also love your milk and juice! You learned to drink from a cup with a straw (you are still figuring out the regular sippy cup thing...you can't seem to tip it back enough) and you can't get enough of the cup!
• You "talk" nonstop and are learning more words. Your currently vocabulary includes "mama, dada, ball, bye, bite, puppy, play, pool (but only if you are near a pool) and go." You call your lovey something that sounds like "suh" and I'm not sure what that means. But you say it whenever you want lovey. You are funny because you seem to have whole conversations with me and get annoyed when I don't understand what you are saying.
• I think that you are as done with the hot weather as I am. You love to be outside, but with it being so hot, we keep you inside. Can't wait until it gets cooler so we can go out for walks to the park more.
  
• You have recently learned to walk backwards and to spin in circles until you get dizzy and fall down. It is hilarious.
• Your favorite game right now is a combination of hide and seek and peek-a-boo. You go behind a couch, into the hallway, behind a table, etc. You hide there for a minute, and then you peek out until someone looks at you and says "Boo!" and then you laugh and laugh. It's adorable.
  

I'm going to take some photos of you tomorrow and will post them soon. We need some updated Jack photos!

One year checkup

Yesterday, Ryan and I took Jack for his one year checkup with Dr. Hulsen.  I was dreading it for a number of reasons…not the least of which being that he was going to get four shots. 

All in all, he was a trooper.  We started with all of the official measurements.  He weighs 22 pounds, 5 ounces (50th percentile) and is 29.5 inches tall (50th percentile).  I can’t remember what his head size was, but he is in the 75 percentile for that.  Dr. Hulsen said that he is very proportionate, so that’s always good to hear (I won’t mention my little niece who is barely on the low end of the height and weight charts but has a head in the 90th percentile!). 

We discussed Jack’s strange habit of sleeping sitting up (have I done a post about this yet?  No…okay).  Well, for the past nearly four weeks, every night when I go to check on him before I go to bed, he is completely asleep, sitting up in his bed.  The first night that he did it, I thought it was hilarious!  I mean, kids fall asleep in random positions all the time.  I busted out the camera and took some photos.

But, after several weeks of finding him like this, I was concerned.  I knew that it wasn’t an emergency and that I could wait until his well baby check up.  Dr. Hulsen is pretty convinced that his sleeping upright is a direct result of the ear problems he has been having.  She decided that based on the number of ear infections he has had in the past few years that it was time to refer him to an ENT.  I really wanted to avoid tubes in him, but it doesn’t seem like that is going to be a possibility.

I also had her look at Jack’s fingernails.  He has ridges in all his fingernails (I think that they look wrinkled).  She said that this is a completely benign condition and that sometimes kids grow out of it.  Others have it for their entire lives.  Thankfully, he is a boy, so nails won’t be an issue for him!  It’s just funny because I actually have really good nails!

I also talked to her about some of the developmental concerns I have about Jack.  I discuss those in detail here.  I won’t go on and on about that anymore in this post. 

After a nice talk with the doctor, it was time for Jack to get the shots.  At this point, he was pretty much ready to go.  It was time to eat and for a nap!  He was crying before the nurse even came in with her giant tray of syringes.  I laid him down on the table and she gave him two shots in each leg.  He cried and I tried not to cry!  He got two snoopy band-aids and two tweety bird band-aids.  Pretty cool!  We even gave him a sticker on the way out because he was such a brave boy!  Who doesn’t love a Spiderman sticker?  :) 

All in all, we have a healthy baby boy!  This first year has flown by and I can’t wait to see what the next year brings!

Stress

I just need to ramble for a minute. This will probably not make much sense and will definitely not be presented in a cohesive fashion, so I understand if no one can read it!

I am getting ready to take Jack to his one year doctors appointment this afternoon. I have a huge pit in my stomach, because, I am very nervous. All everyone wants when they are pregnant is a healthy child. Minus some ear infections and colds, Jack has been pretty healthy. However, I can’t shake the feeling that there is something not quite right.

He seems to be delayed in some areas. While he babbles a lot, he doesn’t use many words. And, the ones that he does use, he doesn’t seem to use in a meaningful way. He does say what I think is ball when he is playing with the little basketballs we have in the bathtub. He also knows that I am mom. He doesn’t point at things that he wants or at items on a page in a book. He seems to be on target in the movement category. He was delayed in that area as well (he didn’t decide to crawl until he was over 10 months old). But, now he crawls like a mad man, he pulls up on the furniture, cruises around, and has even taken a few steps on his own. He’s not walking yet, but that’s normal. Only half of children actually walk by their first birthday. I’m not stressed about that.

He doesn’t really like to play with toys that much. He would carry around a tube of orajel or a bottle of lotion all day…but the tons of toys all over our living room…not so much. He does like books, but he doesn’t want you to read them to him. He would rather sit with the book and flip through the pages, looking at the pictures.

You hear so much about autism…and how boys are three or four times more likely to have it. I will fully admit, I am a hypochondriac. I always think that something is wrong with me or someone I love. However, mothers intuition is usually pretty good.

I am worried about what the doctor will say. I’m worried that she will completely dismiss my concerns (which I don’t think she will. I love our doctor and she really does listen to what we have to say and takes the time to answer our questions). Or, I am worried that she will be concerned about what I have to say.

I have discussed some of my concerns with Ryan. He doesn’t think that there is anything going on. I haven’t really mentioned this to anyone else, mainly because I feel quite crazy. I just want my baby to be happy and healthy throughout his life. I want to do everything I can to provide him with a great life.

So, I am getting ready to leave work to head to the pediatricians office. We will see what Dr. Hulsen has to say. I’m freaking out!

UPDATE

Well, we went to the doctor yesterday. I will have a post later today about all his stats, etc. However, I discussed my concerns with Dr. Hulsen. She was great and listened to everything that I had to say. She said that his lack of pointing could be cause for concern, but that just looking at Jack, she didn't think that we needed to be overly concerned. He follows conversations, he makes eye contact, he smiles, he talks (kids at his age are supposed to have one word, he has four that he uses regularly (mama, dada, up, and ball)) and babbles. She said that if it is something that I am truly concerned about that she would definitely send us for a developmental assessment. But, based on the things that we were telling her, she did not think that we needed to be overly concerned. So, I decided that I would wait and see what he is doing around the time of his 15 month checkup in August. If I am still feeling uneasy or some concern, then I am going to have her send us for the assessment...just so that I can have some peace of mind. Until then, I am going to attempt to not obsessively Google things!

First Steps...

My little man has been taking his first tentative steps today. It's amazing to watch him look so proud of himself. He won't do it all the time, but he has done it a few times. I can tell that he is just going to take off soon. It's just one more way I can see that my little baby is gone and I now have a toddler in my house. So proud of you little buddy!

One Year Old

Jack Ryan, you are one year old! I have no idea how the time has gone so quickly! What I do know is that I love you more each day!

Mommy loves birthdays, so I wanted to make your first one very special. We started the day by making you chocolate chip pancakes. You have loved pancakes since the first time we gave them to you a few months ago, but this was the first time you have had chocolate chip pancakes. Based on the photo below, I think you liked them a lot!


We had to take the last of the monthly photos. It has gotten harder, and harder to do that! You weren't really having any of it. Daddy likes this next picture because he says you and the monkey have the same look on your face.



You are just so cute!
Well, what are you up to these days?

• You wear a size 3 diaper but are about to move to the size 4 with your next box.
• You love any people food that you can get. Your favorites are eggs, green beans, pancakes, cereal bars, and ravioli.
• You wear size 12 month clothes (and some 18 month onesies just because you are very long).
• You don't walk yet, but I can tell you are getting really close! You cruise along all the furniture and even along the walls.
• You are a total mama's boy right now, which is totally okay with me!
  
• You have tons of toys, but your favorite things to play with are bottles of lotion and empty tylenol containers. You are crazy! I should stop spending money on toys!
• You go to bed between 7 & 8 every night and get up between 7 & 8 in the morning. You take 2 or 3 naps during the day, but they aren't very long...you only sleep for 30 minutes to an hour at a time.
• Lately, you have been doing this bizarre, bizarre thing where you sleep in your crib sitting up. I don't get it. I will have a whole post based on that soon!
• You talk all the time! You babble and speak your own little language. You say mama, dada, bye bye, ball, ba ba (bottle), hi, up, and no (but that one we aren't sure you really say, it just kind comes out).
  
• You love your cousin Rory so much, but he is kind of scared of you!! He likes to show off his muscles, which actually looks like he is getting ready to punch you!
• You also love your cousin Ava. She is more fond of you than Rory is! She says "Ack...PLAY!!!!" because she wants you to come play with her. Okay, this next photo might not look like it, but you two actually do like each other!
• The last time you were at the doctor (last week to have your ears rechecked), you weighed 22 pounds, 13 ounces. I read somewhere that kids normally triple their birth weight during the first year of life. You weighed 7 pounds 14 ounces, so you are almost right on target. You don't go to the doctor for your one year checkup with Dr. Hulsen until June 3, so we will see what your official stats are then!
  
• You have such a hilarious personality. Your favorite game to play right now is to crawl down the hallway (where you aren't supposed to go). When you get to the end of the hallway, you wait for someone to start to follow you and then you laugh hysterically and take off crawling as fast as you can again. You want us to chase you. It's quite cute.
• Most of all....mommy loves you so much!!

We will post more from your birthday soon! We have lots of pictures to share!

One Year Ago Continued

At around midnight on May 19, 2009, my contractions started to get really intense. I am kind of a wuss and don't have a lot of pain tolerance, but they just seemed strong. The funny thing was, the monitor wasn't catching my contractions, but the nurse could feel them, so she knew I wasn't crazy. I was only three centimeters dilated. I did not know how I was going to make it through.

By about 1:30, I was begging for some drugs! I had to wait for a half hour until a bag of fluids was given to me. Then, they called for the epidural. I guess because it was in the middle of the night, we had a nurse anesthesist on call. They told me that only one person could stay, so my lovely husband volunteered to leave the room...awesome. Mom stayed with me and held onto me while this horrible, horrible man jammed this needle into my spine. All would have been fine if he had hit the spot on the first time...but he didn't. He didn't hit it on the second time, the third time, or the fourth time. Finally, on the fifth time, he was "pretty sure" that he got it. So, I laid down, expecting to be able to finally get some sleep. Um, yeah, it soon became very clear the Mr. Drug Man did not in fact "get it". It was horrible. My legs were so numb that I couldn't even lift them, but I was still feeling all my contractions.

All night, they tried to give me some additional things to make me comfortable. I got literally no sleep and pretty much was begging for it to be over. My doctor came in first thing in the morning to check me. At this point I was still only about 4 and a half centimeters, so they upped my potocin to try to move things more quickly. Pretty much all that did was make it hurt more (at least in my mind).

Sometime around 12:30, the anestesiologist came in and started talking about how I only had a "partial block" and that they could try one more thing, otherwise they would have to pull out the epidural and try it again. I opted to try the other medicine. I don't know what it was, but I wish I could have taken some home. I don't remember at least the next hour and a half. At about 2:00, the nurse checked me and I was about an 8. I was hoping that things would move quickly. At 3:00, I had the urge to push, so they called the nurse and had her check me. Sure enough, it was time to push. The nurse the night before had told me that it is not uncommon to push for over an hour. I knew I did not want to do that. So, I pushed...and pushed. They called for the doctor, and apparently I was pushing so well that I had to stop pushing. Um, yeah, that's ridiculous. I honestly couldn't not push. My body was just doing it. I waited, and waited. It was the worst ten minutes ever. Finally my doctor came and told me to push. I think I pushed a couple more times, and he was out.

They put him on my stomach and I remember being in shock. I didn't cry, which surprised me. I looked up at Ryan and he seriously looked like he was going to pass out (he doesn't do well in medical situations, so I was really surprised that he had made it this long). They took Jack to be checked out and cleaned up. I couldn't wait to hold him. They weighed him and told me that he weighed 7 pounds 14 ounces and was 19 inches long. His official time of birth was 3:45pm. I remember looking up and the TV was on in the corner...and it was on Jeopardy! Jack is going to be a smart dude! (Jeopardy is also one of Ryan and my favorite shows).

When he was brought to me, he opened those blue eyes and looked at me. The weight of what I had just been through hit me. I was so overwhelmed. I was so happy and couldn't believe that this little person was mine.

That started one of the craziest, happiest years of my life.

Happy Birthday Jack. I love you more and more each day.

One Year Ago Today

One year ago today, I headed to my OB for my regular checkup. I was nearly 38 weeks pregnant, so I was seeing him every week. Everything seemed fine, but I mentioned that Jack wasn't moving as much as I was used to. I attributed that to the fact that he was getting bigger and running out of room in there! Dr. Hulsen said that I was probably correct but just to be on the safe side, he wanted me to go down to labor & delivery and have a NST (non-stress test). Basically they would strap a monitor to my belly to monitor his heart rate and I would click a button whenever I felt him move. I thought, eh, it's a half hour, I get to sit on a bed and watch some TV and go to work a little later than I thought. No biggie.

I head downstairs. On my way down, I texted Ryan, who was at work, and then call my mom to let her know what I was doing. I get down there, they take me to a room, get me all hooked up and hand me the remote. After about 10 minutes, the nurse comes in and asks me if I have eaten recently. I tell her that I had a little breakfast but that I was planning to eat after my appointment. They give me some juice and cookies to eat. They hoped that it would wake Jack up a little bit. So, I ate the stuff. I was watching the monitor and noticed at one point that Jack's heartrate dropped really low, really quickly. That apparently got the nurses station all in a tizzy because three of them were in my room within a few seconds.

His heartrate rebounded pretty quickly and they indicated that they were going to call my doctor and see what he wanted to do. In the meantime, I was supposed to keep hitting the button if he moved. A few minutes later, the nurse came back and told me that Dr. Hulsen wanted to send me for another test. This would be a half hour ultrasound where they would watch for movement and for breathing motions. This would turn into one of the scariest moments of my life. So, they wheel me down to radiology and start the test. I chatted with the tech and she told me about her little boy. Jack was just not cooperating at all. He was refusing to move. Normally, if I laid on my back, he would get mad and kick me until I rolled onto my side. No such luck. At about the 25 minute mark, she saw some breathing motions. So, he passed that portion of the test, but he wasn't moving. It was at that point that she "saw something" on the ultrasound and asked another person to come in. I tried to not freak out until they were staring at the screen for what seemed like an eternity and then finally said "yeah, it could be. definitely note it in the report." I seriously lost it at this point. I started to cry and told them that they were freaking me out. I'm in this tiny room all alone and I really just wanted my husband and my mom. They told me that it was okay and that it wasn't a big deal and that the doctor would talk to me about it.

At this point, Jack still hadn't moved, so he failed that portion of the test. They wheel me back to the room I had been in and told me that they were going to hook me back up to the monitor until they were able to talk to the doctor and see what he wanted to do. At this point, I just had a feeling that I was not going to be leaving the hospital. I let Ryan know that he needs to come and then call my mom and ask her to come immediately (she was about 5 minutes away and Ryan was over a half hour away). I knew she could get there a heck of a lot sooner than he would. At that point, I just didn't want to be by myself.

So, my mom arrived just before Dr. Hulsen came down to talk to me (his office is actually in the physicians building attached to the hospital...which was quite convenient). He said that based on the fact that Jack's heartrate had dropped and that he wasn't moving, he thought it would be best to try to get him out of there. They were going to induce my labor that day. I asked him about what the techs saw on the ultrasound and he said that he hadn't seen anything in the report, but that he would look again.

So, the plan was for me to get something to eat (I got a lovely sandwich, chips, and an apple) and then at about 5PM, they would start the induction process. Things went well. My mom stuck around for a while and then at about 9PM, she decided that she would go home and try to get some rest since we figured it would be a while before things got going. Well, not long after she left, my water broke (which apparently doesn't usually happen). That made me quite uncomfortable. By 10:30, we were asking my mom to come back up to the hospital. This was the start of a ridiculously long night in my life! I shall continue the story tomorrow!

Another week...

The weather has just been yucky around here lately! I would really love if we could have a weekend withouth rain for once! I really need next Saturday to be nice! We are having Jack's birthday party next Saturday at my mom's house and we really want it to be outside on their nice decks. So, we will see. We have a big week planned. I am working Monday and Tuesday this week. Then Wednesday is Jack's birthday! I cannot believe it! We are having his pictures taken at noon. That evening, my parents, Ryan's parents, and a couple other people are having dinner to celebrate Jack turning the big O-N-E!

Thursday, we are taking Jack to his very first Cardinals game. We got a good deal on tickets ($5 each...woohoo). So, I bought three, even though Jack won't sit in his. I figured we could spread out our stuff a little more. We just need to make it to the end of the fourth inning...I put in a birthday message for Jack, and they are played after the fourth inning. I know that he won't have a clue what is going on with the game, but, he loves watching people, so I think that he will enjoy it for a while.

Friday we don't have any big plans except some baking to get ready for the party on Saturday. I have to pick up Jack's little cake on Friday. The big cake is getting picked up Saturday. I can't wait for his party! I think it's going to be a good time had by all!

So, we are hoping for nice weather on Thursday and Saturday! My baby boy deserves it!

Mother's Day Recap

We had a wonderful time on mother's day. It wasn't necessarily what I expected for my first mother's day, but I also didn't expect my husband to be unemployed. He promised me that he would do better next year, and I know that he will!

Most importantly, I got to spend the day with this guy.


Ah...melt my heart! So cute!

We had a very busy day! We went to Ryan's parents for breakfast and to spend time with his mom, dad, sister, brother-in-law, and nephew. One of the funniest things ever happened while we are there, but I will save that for another post! We had a nice time, but soon it was time to go to my parents for a late lunch.

We spent the afternoon with my mom, siblings, and all the kids. Here I am with my mom and my siblings (my sister Jen is up top with me and then my step-brother Shane and step-sister Mandi are on the bottom).

Jack was a little cranky most of the day, and so was my niece Ava. We wanted to try to get some photos of the two of them together, but it wasn't working. Here is what we got!

Sadly, the photo above was the best shot!


Most of the photos looked like this! Ava was playing bashful and Jack was trying to jump down the stairs. Don't they look like they are the same size? I think it's hilarious that Ava is actually 10 months older than Jack. She is just absolutely tiny! People comment that Jack is big, but I think they are just used to how tiny Ava actually is. She is so small that she's not even on the growth charts for height and weight (as of her 18 month appointment anyway). We will see what they say at her 2 year appointment in a couple months. I am pretty sure she can eat more than I do though!

But, I digress! Mothers Day was lovely! I got to spend time with the people that I love and then got to go out and jog and start my Couch to 5K program. It pretty much kicked my butt. I am so very out of shape! We will be working on that soon enough!

I'll leave you with one more picture. I have lots more to share this week as we lead up to Jack's birthday next Wednesday! I can't believe my baby is going to be one! Slow down time! Slow down!

Happy Mothers Day

Thank you, Jack, for making me a mom.

You have brought me so much joy this year. I cannot imagine my life without you in it. You make me want to be a better person and to make the world a better place for you. You make me laugh every day and make me feel better when I am sad. I love you unconditionally little man. I feel so fortunate to be your mom. I love you.

Fear

I wish that fear didn't overcome me all the time. I am afraid of everything. Okay, when I say everything, I don't actually mean everything. I'm not afraid of spiders, or water, or heights. I'm afraid of things that I can't control...like someone I love dying. I'm not one of those people that is afraid of dying herself (well, more on that in a minute). I'm more afraid of being left behind if one of my loved ones were to die.

Ever since I have had Jack, my fear has reached an all time high. I worry about everything! I worry that he isn't eating enough, that he's eating too much, that he has a fever, that he isn't sleeping enough, that he isn't reaching milestones when someone else says he should. But, most of all, I worry about what would happen if he had to grow up without me.

This has been constantly on my mind for about two weeks. You see, I am leaving for a conference in Boston on Friday. I will be gone from Friday morning until Wednesday morning. I have cried nearly every day thinking about my sweet baby boy. I am sad about leaving him, but I am freaking out about flying. I hate flying in general. I have always had a fear of flying (okay, not the flying part...the possibility of plummeting from the sky).

I just want to have a safe trip and to get safely back to my house to hug that baby boy. I hate letting fear overtake my life. I'm trying not to let it, but I have to say, I'm not being very successful. But, how can you not want to get home to this sweet face??

Eight Months

Jack Ryan...you are 8 months old. Okay, you have been 8 months old for over two weeks...mom is just really slow with the posts! What are you up to these days?

You wear size 9 month pants and mostly size 12 month onesies. You have a very long torso!

You sit up on your own, but sometimes you forget to catch yourself when you fall backwards!

You have absolutely no interest in crawling! We are pretty sure you will go straight to walking!

You say "hi" all the time. You especially like to say hi to your cousin Rory.

Speaking of Rory, you are obsessed with him! You think he is the best. He is 11 weeks older than you. You two spend lots of time with Papa and Go Go during the week. He is teaching you all sorts of bad habits...like how to hit mommy. We hope that maybe you will learn to walk from him too.

You absolutely love "people" food. We haven't found anything that you won't eat yet. Current favorites include cheerios, mashed potatoes, french fries, hamburgers, chicken, and avocado. You sit there with your mouth open like a little bird until we put something in it!

You are a horrible nap taker. You take a short nap in the morning and a short nap in the afternoon. It's really hard for mom to get anything done when you won't sleep! I can't complain though, because you sleep for over 12 hours at night.

You now have six teeth! Four on the top and two on the bottom. The four on the top all came in at once. That was a very rough week for all of us! Poor baby!

Your monthly photo shoots are getting interesting...you refuse to leave the sign alone!


I can usually get one photo out of the group where you smile!
And, your hair is getting crazy! You can have a little mohawk.

Not me Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

I surely would never stick my seven month old in a basket because he was unhappy with everything else in the world.


Nope...not me.

And I definitely wouldn't leave him in there for a half an hour because he was so happy.


I would never do that!

Seven Months

Jack Ryan...you are seven months old! I can hardly believe it!


So, other than grabbing your sign and not letting mom take your picture, what are you up to this month?

You wear mainly 9 month clothes, but some of your sleepers are 12 months.

You are now the proud owner of two teeth! The second just poked through! I guess you will have your two front teeth for Christmas!

You are still not completely able to sit on your own, but you are getting very close.

You have no interest in rolling from your back to your stomach. You hate being on your stomach, so why would you want to go onto it?

You love to watch Wheel of Fortune! It cracks mommy and daddy up! You get so excited when it comes on!

You have started to eat baby yogurt at breakfast and having a snack each afternoon. You really like yogurt melts and puffs.

You have had some tastes of "people food" lately. You have had mashed potatoes, sweet potato, a bite of hamburger, and french fries. We won't mention the little tastes of cool whip and pudding we have teased you with too. On Christmas you will get your first taste of turkey!

You are definitely starting to play with your toys more. You love anything that plays music or has lights.

You really like looking at the Christmas tree and all of the Christmas lights that are up right now!

You still go to sleep between 6:30PM and 7:00PM every night and sleep until at least 7:00AM. You happily stay in your crib and babble for another 15-25 minutes until we are ready to get you up.

You have now had two ear infections and are currently taking medicine to avoid a third...your right ear is nice and red...we are trying to avoid a Christmas trip to the ER, so the doctor went ahead and gave you an antibiotic.

You aren't sure what you think of naps. You typically take a nap in the morning (not that long after you get up) and then you eat your breakfast of either oatmeal or yogurt. You then sometimes decide you need another morning snooze after playing for a while. Other times, you stay awake until time for your afternoon nap.

I am pretty sure that your daddy is your favorite person right now.

When I go to pick you up from your crib in the morning, you give me this big grin and kind of yell a little. It's like you are saying good morning to me. Then, when I pick you up, you put your hands on either side of my face and just smile at me. It's like you are saying "well hello mommy, let me take a good look at you." It honestly is my favorite part of the day!

You are honestly a very good baby. You are mellow most of the time...you don't cry that often.

You are pretty spoiled by your grandparents and parents!

We can't wait to see you open presents on Christmas!

We love you very much!Apparently paper is very tasty!


You really wanted that sign...no matter where we put it!

Six Months

Jack, you are six months old! You are a whole half of a year old! Where has the time gone little man? I feel like it was just yesterday that I was holding you in my arms for the first time.

So, what are you up to these days?

• You wear size 6-9 months or 9 month clothes
• You wear a size 3 diaper
• You hate wearing socks, and since you have discovered your feet you love to pull them off.
• While you hate socks, you love wearing shoes. You smile whenever we put them on you.
• You sleep for 12 hours at night and take short naps during the day. We are working on naps in your crib. You love your crib at night but refuse to nap in there during the day!
• We are anxiously awaiting your first tooth. Your bottom gums are so swollen and tender, we just know that it will pop through any day!
• You still love to sit in your bouncy seat and play.
• You enjoy your play mat on the floor and have started pulling so hard on the toys that you knock it down on top of yourself!
  
• You are starting to like your exersaucer a lot more and will spend more time in there.
• You still only roll from your front to your back. You have no real interest in rolling from your back to your front.
• You are very ticklish and laugh hysterically when we tickle your chest and under your arms.
• You are very close to sitting on your own! You get too excited though and start flailing...which makes you topple over!
• You love eating fruits and vegetables. Your favorites are apples with cherries, carrots, sweet potatoes, pears, and prunes with apples (yuck!).
  
• You are very interested in the foods that mommy and daddy are eating. I can tell you will be a good eater!
• You had your first ear infection in the past month and now have your second cold! Poor little man.
• You melt my heart every day! You are the sweetest little boy ever!
  

Five Months....

Jack Ryan...

You are five months old! You have started doing so many new things! You seem to get bigger every day and learn a new "trick" every day! Here's what you are up to these days:

You wear a size 2-3 or 3 diaper.
You finally rolled over from your tummy to your back on October 24.
You still love your bouncy seat
You have a "lovey" that you love to hold and chew on (it's a little blankie with a dog or a bear)
You are very strong! You try to sit up whenever we hold you.
You wear size 6-9 months clothes.
You love to take baths and to be naked!
You love to play with your rings
You still suck your thumb a lot!
You love Clifford the Big Red Dog.
You sleep for 12 hours at night and don't really like to take naps during the day unless you are sleeping on someone. I love the weekends because I can lay on the couch with you and snuggle!
You are eating lots of different fruits and vegetables these days.
You hate green beans and peas.
You love carrots, squash, sweet potatoes, apples with cherries, pears, and bananas.
You "talk" non-stop!
Your laugh is the sweetest sound in the world.
You are absolutely the reason I get up every morning!

Three Months

My oh my...where does the time go?!

Jack Ryan, you are three months old today! So, what's new in your world?

You currently wear a size two diaper.

You wear 3 month clothes and some 3-6 month clothes. We are having trouble with clothes for you because you are very long but are not filling the clothes in so they look baggy on you.

You weigh approximately 14 pounds (you haven't been to the doctor since you were two months old). And you are about 24 inches long.

You started completely sleeping through the night in the past couple weeks. We have a night every now and then where you wake up at about 5:30 and decide you want to eat, but otherwise, you are sleeping until almost 7AM. Some days we even have to wake you up!

You go to bed sometime between 8PM and 9PM most nights. Occasionally you are up later, but we are trying to get you into more of a routine.

You love to read books! Your favorites are the baby signs book that has funny pictures and the peek-a-boo book where we lift the flaps and you see pictures of animals. It's so cute to watch you laugh at the pages.

Speaking of laughing, you are starting to laugh more. It is a sound that melts mommy's heart! You laugh pretty hard if we blow on your belly...and even laugh when mommy uses the booger sucker on you! You are the only child mom knows that loves that thing!

You love to sit in your bouncy seat and look at thes lights.

You are also obsessed with fans. You started looking at the mirror in the living room and it took me a few days to realize that you couldn't see the actual fan on the ceiling, so you started watching it in the mirror!

You have started watching tv. It's actually kind of funny because you will crane your neck to see the tv...especially if the Cardinals are playing! Mommy doesn't want you to watch tv, but sometimes it's funny to watch you look at the screen. I'm pretty sure you are just mesmerized by the colors.

You are a very good eater. We started giving you cereal with a spoon and you are doing really well. We have some incidents (yes, mommy dropped the entire bowl into your lap, and sometimes you slap the spoon out of my hand) but for the most part you actually eat it pretty well. We can't wait to see how you react to vegetables next month!

You are eating bottles about every three hours during the day....and you eat about 5 or 6 ounces at a time. We are able to stretch those feedings a little by giving you cereal in the morning and at dinnertime.

You are actually pretty independent and don't like to be held sometimes. You just want to sit in your bouncy seat or swing or even lay on the floor and play.

You have really discovered your voice over the past couple weeks and babble constantly. Daddy and I laugh because sometimes it sounds like you say real words. We have heard "uh oh" "oh yeah" and "no" numerous times. You also sound like you say "mama" all the time. Okay, mostly when you are crying.

You obsessively suck on your thumb. Sometimes, you even suck on both of them at the same time. We think you are starting the teething process, so your hands are always in your mouth. And you drool a lot.

In all, you are the best thing that I have ever done. I love you very much! I can't wait to see the person you are going to become.

I will add pictures tomorrow! My computer is acting up today!