2011 in Review

1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?

I went to a professional conference alone (I normally go with colleagues or take students)...and actually did this twice.  The first was a HUGE deal with big, important people from schools like Harvard and Yale.  And, I didn't make a fool of myself.  In fact, I think that I sounded intelligent in most conversations!  

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

My biggest New Years Resolution was to lose weight...and I started off well.  I will say that at this point, I actually weigh less than I did when I started the year...and I am nearly 23 weeks pregnant.  So, while I didn't hit that goal of losing 30 pounds this year, I have made progress, and will get back at it.  I don't know if I will make New Years Resolutions this year or not.  If I do, I think they will just have to do with loving my family and spending as much time with them and my friends as possible.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

My best friend had a baby girl in April.  Another friend just gave birth to a little boy 10 days ago...he was early and very tiny but is doing amazingly well.  My sister in law also had a baby girl in October--her sixth!  Wowza!  

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Thankfully, no.  It was a quiet year...which my family desperately needed after the last few years we have had.

5. What countries did you visit?

Absolutely none.  Although I did have to fly through Atlanta...and I'm pretty sure that airport can count as it's own country.  

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you didn’t have in 2011?

This is really hard.  I feel like I have so much and have had so many blessings.  I would like to have more time with my family and friends.  As my friends all start their families, it is even harder to make time for each other...but I know how amazing just a little time with them can be.  

I guess that better control of my finances would be another one.  This seems to haunt me from year to year.  

7. What dates from 2011 will be etched upon your memory, and why?

August 7--the day I found out I was going to be a mommy again.  October 24--my 30th birthday.  November 7--the day that it was confirmed that I will be taking on a new job in July 2012 that will utterly change my career and probably in some ways, change my life (and I haven't been able to really talk about it much, but hope that is about to change after the start of the new year).  December 8--the day it was confirmed that baby number 2 is a boy (and appears healthy)

8. What was your biggest achievement of this year?

I guess that I have a personal one and a professional one.  In my personal life, it would be that we decided to have a second child and were able to conceive this little guy.  Professionally, it would be sticking up for myself and asking for what I know I deserve. 

9. What was your biggest failure?

Not getting my finances in order.  And not thoroughly enjoying all of my time with my son.  I love him, but two years old is hard...and sometimes mama is very excited when bedtime rolls around.  

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

No. 

11. What was the best thing you bought?

My new iphone (hello love).  Also bought a new car (lower payment, brand new...love it).  

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Probably my husband who put up with my complete neurotic mindset through most of the year--and he didn't kill me (pretty sure he wanted to on multiple occasions).  

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

I can't think of an individual...more like groups of people.  Sometimes students drove me crazy this year.  Celebrities are insane for the most part.  Politicians in general.  The Obama-bashing people who think that the world is coming to an end.  

14. Where did most of your money go?

You know, mortgage, car, diapers (please let me get boy #1 pottytrained before boy #2 arrives).  Probably too many trips to restaurants.  

15. What did you get really excited about?

Learning I was pregnant (though that also scared the crap out of me), my new iphone (yup, I'm pathetic), and the prospect of new job responsibilities.  

16. What song will always remind you of 2011?

Probably something by Adele

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer?

I would like to say happier, but I'm probably about the same

Thinner by the scale, fatter by the maternity pants I'm currently sporting

Probably about the same

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Reading to my son.  Reading for myself.  Gotten more alone time (an hour a week...wow, that would be amazing).  Date nights with my husband (it's only going to get harder as we add to our family, but we really have to make a conscious effort to do this.  We went almost an entire year without a date night (that didn't involve attending a wedding).  

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Worrying.

20. How will you spend Christmas?

Running all over the place to see family.  But to me, that is Christmas.  

21. Did you fall in love in 2011?

I fell in love with my unborn child.  It is amazing how you can love something so much that you have haven't even met.  

22. What was your favorite TV program?

I watch way too much TV...but my favorites are Dexter (woah season finale last night), Grey's Anatomy, How I Met Your Mother, Glee (I'm still on board), and I recently discovered a love for The Big Bang Theory.  

23. What was the best book you read?

Honestly, I can't even remember.  Which is pathetic.  I have been doing so much research for work that my free time isn't spent reading for fun.  I have big plans to read over the holiday break though!  

24. What was your greatest musical discovery?

I love Adele.  

25. What did you want and get?

Pregnant.  A new car.  An iphone.  

26. What did you want and not get?

For my husband to get a new job with set hours that don't involve working most evenings and weekends. 

27. What was your favorite film of 2011?

Pretty sure that the only movie I saw in theaters was Harry Potter.  We don't get out much.  

28. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 30!  And for the first time in two years, I stayed at home alone during the day!  My son went to school that day and I got to enjoy some time at home...got a pedicure...went to lunch with a friend...laid in my bed for an hour.  It was blissful!  I got to have dinner with my family...and then a few days later went out to dinner with some friends.  

29. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Honestly, I'm not sure.  

30. How would you describe your personal fashion concept of 2011 ?

Ugh.  I have none.  Right now it is "does it fit?  Yes?  Put it on"

31. What kept you sane?

My husband, my friends, my sons hysterical laugh, Dr. Pepper

32. What political issue stirred you the most?

Obviously the economy is on everyone's minds right now.  I have already started to worry about the election next year.  Getting all of our troops out of Iraq this past weekend was great...my "baby" cousin just got home from Iraq and another has been before.  I would really like for our troops in Afghanistan to be removed as well before my cousin is sent there this summer.  Occupy Wall Street has kind of annoyed me more than anything. I get it...but sometimes I just want to tell people to get a job (any job).  I kind of lost it when a local TV station was interviewing one of the "occupiers" and they were complaining about how the only job they could get with their bachelor's degree was working at McDonalds.  Well...work at McDonalds.  My husband has a master's degree and works at a luggage store because he hasn't found a job in his field and he needs to help support our family.  You have to do what you have to do.  It sucks, but sometimes you do it.  (and I completely understand that there are people out there who can't even get jobs at McDonalds...but I think that many people could find SOMETHING if they stopped complaining...or even tried).  Okay, tirade over.  

33. Who did you miss?

I probably miss my best friend the most of all.  Since she had a baby in April, I haven't been able to see her much.  Actually, I haven't been able to see her since June.  Fortunately, we talk via email most days.  But, I still miss her face!  

I'm also missing my grandma terribly.  It hit me early in my pregnancy that my grandma would never meet this baby.  That was devastating to me.  She passed away 10 days after my oldest son was born...but she met him, and held him, and kissed his sweet cheeks.  I won't have that photo with this baby.  I miss her more than I thought...I think part of that has to do with the fact that I didn't properly grieve when she passed away because I was trying to survive with a newborn.  

34. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.

That people are generally good and will help out when they can.  That there are always people that have so much less to be thankful for than you do.  

35. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

I'm going to have to come back to this one...I'm lame and can't think of anything right now.  

2010 in review

1. What did you do in 2010 that you’d never done before?

I went on vacation with my ENTIRE family. It was the first time that my three siblings, our spouses, kids, and parents had ever all been on vacation together.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I don't think that I actually made new year's resolutions last year. I decided that I wouldn't. I'm sure that if I did, it would have been to lose weight and be more financially responsible. Um, those are both big fat failures, so we will just say that I didn't make any.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

I know several people that had babies, but none of my family or close friends. My best friend is expecting a baby in April 2011 and I am SOOOO excited!!

4. Did anyone close to you die?

My grandpa passed away in March. I wouldn't say that we were close (he is my step-dad's dad), but he was my grandpa nonetheless. However, I will say that the past few months have left me missing my maternal grandma and grandpa immensely. I think about them every day and wish that they were here.

5. What countries did you visit?

No foreign countries. I took a trip to Boston for work and then went to Alabama (which could technically count as a foreign country) with my family.

6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you didn’t have in 2010?

I would really like for my husband to get a decent paying full time job.

7. What dates from 2010 will be etched upon your memory, and why?

Probably May 19 because we celebrated Jack's first birthday. October 24 because it was my 29th birthday and I had a great time with ALL of my friends for the first time in quite a while.

8. What was your biggest achievement of this year?

.I honestly can't think of anything great that I did. I guess professionally, we had a great academic year last year. We increased our attendance and the number of events we did.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Not being more supportive of my husband when he lost his job and in the eight plus months since then.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Nothing major.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

My ipad. I shouldn't have purchased it, but I used the money I received from teaching a class and purchased it. There were absolutely more responsible things I could have done with that money, but I use it every day and my son loves it too!

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

My husband who took on the role of stay at home dad at the end of March. I would not have the patience to be home with our child every day for months on end. He has so much more patience then I could ever dream of having. I'm so thankful

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

There are quite a few people that I could list here, but I will just say that overall, I think people are good.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Paying bills...mortgage, car, insurance, student loans, etc.

15. What did you get really excited about?

My birthday...because all of my friends came to town to help me celebrate. And Christmas because Jack actually opened his presents this year.

16. What song will always remind you of 2010?

I can't think of one song that will represent this year...

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer?

Happier: No. I'm working on it though
Thinner: I am the same
Richer: Absolutely not...my husband lost his job in March! Enough said!

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Visiting with friends. Making time for myself.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Dwelling on all the things I don't have.

20. How did you spend Christmas?

Running around to our families and enjoying time with them.

21. Did you fall in love in 2010?

Still love my husband dearly.

22. What was your favorite TV program?

Glee, Modern Family, anything on ABC Family (because I'm a 13 year old girl at heart), Grey's Anatomy, and I could go on and on and on. I like TV.

23. What was the best book you read?

I can tell you what it wasn't..."Nickel and Dimed" by Barbara Ehrenreich. It's the required reader for the freshman seminar classes at my university. Since I taught a freshman seminar, I had to read it. And it was awful. I felt guilty making the kids read it.

24. What was your greatest musical discovery?

I'm going to say that I love Bruno Mars right now. Tyrone Wells is still at the top of my list.

25. What did you want and get?

An ipad

26. What did you want and not get?

For my husband to get a job

27. What was your favorite film of 2010?

Harry Potter

28. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 29 this year and had a great time celebrating with a big group of friends. I loved it...but I did not love how I felt the next day.

29. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

If my husband had gotten a job.

30. How would you describe your personal fashion concept of 2010 ?

Oh please. Fashion is not my thing. I would love to be more fashionable, but I'm a mom on a very limited budget!

31. What kept you sane?

Emails from my best friend, my husband, my mom

32. What political issue stirred you the most?

Don't Ask, Don't Tell. The repeal is a definite step in the right direction for equality.

33. Who did you miss?

My grandma and grandpa. They popped into my head almost every day over the past few months.

34. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010.

There are always going to be people that are worse off than you. You should be happy for all that you have and not dwell on what you don't have.

35. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

Just have a little patience....I really wanna start over again.

30 Before 30

Yesterday was my 29th birthday. As I enter the last year of my 20's, I decided to create a list of things I would like to do before my 30th birthday. Here we go...30 before 30.

1. Lose 20 pounds.
2. Have a weekend getaway with my husband...alone.
3. Pay off my remaining credit card debt.
4. Paint my living room.
5. Exercise three times a week.
6. Take Jack to the park as often as the weather allows.
7. Read to Jack every night before bed...as many books as he wants.
8. Be a better wife to my husband. Make sure he knows how wonderful he is every single day.
9. Cook more meals for my family.
10. Take a week off of work and don't check my email or voice mail the entire week.
11. Finally put all of the photos I have taken and printed of Jack into photo albums.
12. Get one evening with my friends each month.
13. Visit my best friend at her new house for a weekend.
14. Read one book a month for fun.
15. Clean my office at work and purge all of the old files that are cluttering my life!
16. Bake more tasty treats for my family and friends
17. Visit the Missouri History Museum, the St. Louis Art Museum, the Science Center, and the Zoo.
18. Go to Chicago for a fun weekend of shopping and museums.
19. Go to at least two new restaurants in St. Louis.
20. Try a new food
21. Publish an article
22. Help Ryan get a job that he will love.
23. Run a 5K
24. Get my wisdom teeth taken out (no, this isn't fun...but it needs to be done!)
25. Spend more time with my mom and sister
26. Enroll Jack in day care two days a week so that he can socialize with other kids.
27. Be a better friend to the great people in my life
28. Drink more water every day
29. Make sure Jack feels unconditional love every day of his life
30. Find the perfect outfit to wear for my 30th birthday

Let's get real

So, I hit a wall this weekend. Up until now, pregnancy has been great. It's been an experience filled with a lot of excitement. I have been very fortunate to have had a fairly easy pregnancy (knock on wood). That part hasn't changed. However, today, I realized that "holy crap, this kid is coming in a few months!!" The realization came when my friend Jenn called me and said "do you want to go shopping with me this afternoon?" I agreed to go...but then it hit me...that I wouldn't be able to just drop everything and do whatever I wanted to in a few months.

You should know that I am fiercely independent person. I want to do what I want, when I want. I don't want to ask anyone's permission before I go do something. I know that my life is going to change when the baby comes. I also know that I am going to love him with all my heart and that I will be a good mom. But, I have this fear that maybe I will resent him for taking away some of my independence.

I am absolutely sure that this is a very normal feeling to be having a few months before the arrival of your first child. I feel really guilty for even thinking like this though. Having a baby is all that I have wanted for a long time. My wonderful husband is so excited...I think he has told the whole world that we are having a boy. It's hard not to be excited when I see the smile on his face as he kisses my belly.

I know that days like this...full of uneasiness and uncertainty are just going to continue to become more common. But, at the end of the day, I just want to have a healthy, happy baby boy. I can't wait to meet him!

Updates--I'm a bad blogger

Okay, so I am a horrible blogger. I log on to the site every day and catch up on my favorite blogs but I just have no motivation to write an entry. So, here is an update of my life since Thanksgiving.

The day after Thanksgiving, I started a pattern of not being able to sleep. This pattern has continued for the past few weeks. One night, I sleep fine, the next night, I spend most of my night tossing and turning. I expected to have trouble sleeping later in pregnancy, but not this early.

Speaking of pregnancy...I still don't feel pregnant. I'm 16 weeks and I am still having a hard time even remembering that I'm pregnant some days. I am ready to start showing...to have to wear ugly maternity pants! I know that is ridiculous. I'm kind of in between right now...my normal clothes are getting a little snug, but I don't feel like I can justify wearing maternity clothes yet. I'm ready to feel baby move...baby daddy (it cracks me up to call him that) is really excited for that too.

Otherwise, it's been really, really boring in my little world. I have been working and getting ready for a delightfully long Christmas break. We finished a semester worth of programming--rather successfully I might add. I can't believe that the semester is over though. It absolutely flew by. I am looking forward to the Spring semester, though I know that it will get harder as baby gets bigger...and I get bigger. I finished teaching my class, which was a big sigh of relief. I like teaching the class, but it wears me out.

So, yeah, this is the most boring post ever. I'm sorry. I will do better next time!

Thankful

While I should be a better person and think about all of the things that I am thankful for every day, I tend to really think about it at this time of year. So, here are the things I am thankful for right now:

• My amazing husband who loves me unconditionally, even when my raging hormones are out of control.
• My family that is always there for me and that entertains me on a daily basis.
• A job that I love (on most days)
• A baby on the way that seems to be growing and progressing just perfectly. I am not sure how it is possible to love something that you haven't met yet, so much...but I do.
• My friends--without whom I would be completely lost
• My DVR (okay, I have to put something on here that is a little frivolous). I mean, seriously, how did we live without this invention??

Have a great Thanksgiving! I hope that it's full of delicious foods, lots of family and friends, and great times.

Birthday

So, today is my birthday. Today, at 1:19 AM, I officially turned 27. It's kind of a blah birthday, however, I have been thinking back today and realize that birthdays really are about numbers.

1...today is my first birthday as a married woman. I feel so thankful to have a wonderful husband that I know loves me a lot.

2...two years ago, I had one of the best birthday celebrations with my friends...that was the night that my "puke free since 93" streak ended. Thanks to my friend Emily for my new saying "puke nixed since 06"

3...today is my third birthday since my grandpa died. He really was one of my favorite people in the world. I still miss him as much today as I did the day he died. I wish he was here.

3...today is also the third birthday I have spent with Ryan. I never could have imagined that just a couple years later we would be where we are today.

6...six years ago, I finally reached that triumphant age of 21. I can vaguely remember that evening at Shenanigans.

9...nine years ago, I turned 18 and was in my freshman year of college. I remember being so excited to finally be an "adult"

10...ten years ago, I turned 17. It was the first time that I went to the mailbox on my birthday and didn't have a card from my dad. For years after that, I would still go to the mailbox on my birthday at my moms house and close my eyes and take a breath before I would open it...hoping that he would make that little effort again. It hasn't happened.

18...eighteen years ago, I was turning nine and I refused to celebrate my birthday. My beloved grandpa was in the hospital after having a quadruple bypass and wasn't going to be home. I opened no presents, had no cake...refused to acknowledge the day until my Papa could be there.

25...twenty-five years ago, I was turning two. About two months before, my little sister had come home from the hospital. The same time as my birthday, the new baby was baptized. My mom decided to have a joint "Michelle birthday/Jennifer baptism" party. Instead of a birthday cake, I had half a Smurfette birthday cake and half a "congrats on the baptism" cake. I was soooo mad that I proceeded to sit under the kitchen table and just repeat "stupid baby" over and over again. I still call my sister stupid baby to this day.