Saturday, February 7, 2009


Today, I feel like a failure as a wife. You see, my wonderful husband has been job searching for a long time. He received his master's degree nearly two years ago and has not been able to find a job in his field. He currently has a's just not overly conducive to the life we are about to have with our unborn child (i.e. he works a lot of evenings and weekends). I just want him to have a job that has mainly regular hours. I mean, my job isn't strictly nine to five, but most evenings and weekends, I can be at home...with a few exceptions. I have just been having this realization this week that in a couple months, I am going to spending most of my time alone with a newborn while he is working. Our schedules are just so opposite.

He feels like a complete failure for not being able to find a job. I know this...yet I keep pestering him about it. I can't just let it go...he knows this baby is coming in a few months, so why do I feel the need to remind him? I just want to feel like there is a plan in place. And right now, I don't know what the plan is. So, I keep bringing it up. And he gets frustrated. Then, I feel bad for nagging him...and that's when I realize I am a horrible wife. It's an awful feeling. I just want to feel secure. Is that asking too much?

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