Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Sadness at the holidays

This past weekend, a woman that I vaguely knew and her husband were killed in a car accident. She was the editor of the student newspaper at the college that I work for a few years ago. I didn't really know her at all...more that I knew of her. It was just so sad to me because I learned that she and her husband have a little boy not much older than Jack. I sat on my couch and cried just thinking about that poor little boy that will have to grow up not knowing his parents. That led me to think about much I love much I want to teach him...and how much I want to watch him grow up and turn into a wonderful person. I was so devastated just thinking about him growing up without me or his daddy.

So, as I prepare for my first Christmas with Jack, I am praying for the family of these two young people that were taken much too soon from this world. I hope that you will all hug your children tonight and remember to take each day as if it will be your last. Sorry to be a downer right before Christmas! It's just something I wanted to write about.

Monday, December 21, 2009

Seven Months

Jack are seven months old! I can hardly believe it!

So, other than grabbing your sign and not letting mom take your picture, what are you up to this month?

You wear mainly 9 month clothes, but some of your sleepers are 12 months.

You are now the proud owner of two teeth! The second just poked through! I guess you will have your two front teeth for Christmas!

You are still not completely able to sit on your own, but you are getting very close.

You have no interest in rolling from your back to your stomach. You hate being on your stomach, so why would you want to go onto it?

You love to watch Wheel of Fortune! It cracks mommy and daddy up! You get so excited when it comes on!

You have started to eat baby yogurt at breakfast and having a snack each afternoon. You really like yogurt melts and puffs.

You have had some tastes of "people food" lately. You have had mashed potatoes, sweet potato, a bite of hamburger, and french fries. We won't mention the little tastes of cool whip and pudding we have teased you with too. On Christmas you will get your first taste of turkey!

You are definitely starting to play with your toys more. You love anything that plays music or has lights.

You really like looking at the Christmas tree and all of the Christmas lights that are up right now!

You still go to sleep between 6:30PM and 7:00PM every night and sleep until at least 7:00AM. You happily stay in your crib and babble for another 15-25 minutes until we are ready to get you up.

You have now had two ear infections and are currently taking medicine to avoid a third...your right ear is nice and red...we are trying to avoid a Christmas trip to the ER, so the doctor went ahead and gave you an antibiotic.

You aren't sure what you think of naps. You typically take a nap in the morning (not that long after you get up) and then you eat your breakfast of either oatmeal or yogurt. You then sometimes decide you need another morning snooze after playing for a while. Other times, you stay awake until time for your afternoon nap.

I am pretty sure that your daddy is your favorite person right now.

When I go to pick you up from your crib in the morning, you give me this big grin and kind of yell a little. It's like you are saying good morning to me. Then, when I pick you up, you put your hands on either side of my face and just smile at me. It's like you are saying "well hello mommy, let me take a good look at you." It honestly is my favorite part of the day!

You are honestly a very good baby. You are mellow most of the don't cry that often.

You are pretty spoiled by your grandparents and parents!

We can't wait to see you open presents on Christmas!

We love you very much!Apparently paper is very tasty!

You really wanted that matter where we put it!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

A Conversation...

My husband and I sometimes have the most random conversations. And sometimes I forget how funny my husband can be.

On Sunday, we were sitting in our living room playing with the baby and watching TV. A story about Tiger Woods came on (is anyone else sick of hearing about Tiger and his many, many transgressions?). They were talking about his decision to take a break from golf indefinitely. However, some very funny writer for "Weekend Today" decided to make the headline a little comical.

I didn't pay the story any attention until my husband starts laughing hysterically.

Barely able to speak, he stammers, ""

Before I can even look, he yells "Tiger Pulls Out....Tiger Pulls Out...HA HA HA HA HA!"

Apparently the Today Show decided it was a good idea to title this particular story "Tiger Pulls Out" (no pun intended, I'm sure!).

My husband thought this was the funniest thing he had ever heard or seen. So, I decide to humor him and laugh a little too. It really is true, men never really get past an eighth graders mentality, do they?

Monday, December 14, 2009

Being Green...a slight rant.

Let me start this post by saying that I have nothing against the "be green" movement and the idea of saving our planet for future generations. I am absolutely for all of that. With that being said, let me begin.

It's Christmastime. This is one of my favorite times of the year! I love Christmas music. I love putting up my Christmas tree. I love driving through neighborhoods and looking at Christmas lights. I love buying gifts for the people that I love. I love sharing this season with my baby boy. And, I absolutely love getting Christmas cards! Kelly over at Kelly's Korner was talking about this last week. I adore going to the mailbox, opening it up, and seeing those green, red, white, and gold envelopes peeking out at me. It's such a welcome respite from all the bills, junk mail, and catalogs that I receive on a daily basis.

This year, however, I noticed that I was receiving fewer Christmas cards. I thought to myself, "well, people are busy, maybe they are just running late with getting the cards out this year." Then I started getting some emails. People would say "we are trying to be "green" this year, so we are sending out an email newsletter or card." I literally got ten of these over the weekend. As I mentioned previously, I'm all for saving the planet, and for being green to a certain extent. I recycle. I think before I print an email or a document. However, I will not stop sending Christmas cards because I want to save the planet. One family indicated that they didn't send an actual card because her husband had lost his job and they simply couldn't afford the postage. That, my friends, is completely understandable. But the other nine...well...I was slightly annoyed. This is literally putting a damper on my holiday. I actually keep all the Christmas cards that I receive in a box with all my Christmas stuff. Then when I get all that stuff out, I have all the previous years cards to look at (and to remember who sent me a card that year that I might otherwise forget. I mean, not that I don't love my husband's great aunt so and so, but I have never met the woman! I might not remember to put her name on the Christmas card list). I also keep all the envelopes so that I have their addresses handy.

With all this email business, how am I supposed to keep track, dang it?? I guess what this comes down to is that I don't like change! I was telling my mom about this over the weekend, and she just laughed at me. I'm a major techie...I love to have the newest items as soon as they come out! I usually get behind anything technological. But, in this case, I just can't do it!

Thoughts? How do you feel about e-Christmas cards??

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

the post in which I realize I am an awful blogger

I guess that I am just not cut out for this blogging thing! I can't seem to post once a week...let alone once a day! I'm not sure how some of my favorite bloggers do it! They have families and jobs, yet they still find time to post on a daily basis. It's amazing to me!

I guess I really don't feel like I have anything to say that would be of interest to anyone. I could talk about my baby. I could talk about my job. Neither are super exciting to anyone except me!

I think that trying to blog has made me realize that I don't have anything going on in my life except my baby. I love that little guy more than this post could even begin to explain. Seeing him smile and hearing him laugh make every day worth living. That being said, I know that I have to live my life for myself...not just for my son. I have to figure out what is going to make me feel like a whole person...what will personally fulfill me?

The quest begins.

Friday, November 20, 2009

Six Months

Jack, you are six months old! You are a whole half of a year old! Where has the time gone little man? I feel like it was just yesterday that I was holding you in my arms for the first time.

So, what are you up to these days?
  • You wear size 6-9 months or 9 month clothes
  • You wear a size 3 diaper
  • You hate wearing socks, and since you have discovered your feet you love to pull them off.
  • While you hate socks, you love wearing shoes. You smile whenever we put them on you.
  • You sleep for 12 hours at night and take short naps during the day. We are working on naps in your crib. You love your crib at night but refuse to nap in there during the day!
  • We are anxiously awaiting your first tooth. Your bottom gums are so swollen and tender, we just know that it will pop through any day!
  • You still love to sit in your bouncy seat and play.
  • You enjoy your play mat on the floor and have started pulling so hard on the toys that you knock it down on top of yourself!
  • You are starting to like your exersaucer a lot more and will spend more time in there.
  • You still only roll from your front to your back. You have no real interest in rolling from your back to your front.
  • You are very ticklish and laugh hysterically when we tickle your chest and under your arms.
  • You are very close to sitting on your own! You get too excited though and start flailing...which makes you topple over!
  • You love eating fruits and vegetables. Your favorites are apples with cherries, carrots, sweet potatoes, pears, and prunes with apples (yuck!).
  • You are very interested in the foods that mommy and daddy are eating. I can tell you will be a good eater!
  • You had your first ear infection in the past month and now have your second cold! Poor little man.
  • You melt my heart every day! You are the sweetest little boy ever!

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

I am...

...frustrated. I don't even know how to explain the way I am feeling right now. I look at my life, and I see that I have so much to be thankful for. I have a husband that loves me and that I adore. I have a baby that melts my heart every time I look at him. I have friends and family that I can count on. But, somehow, it isn't enough.

That made me it ever really enough? Is it just human nature to want more than you have? I want to have my adorable little boy...but then sometimes, I long for the days when I could just lay on the couch and enjoy a lazy day on the weekends. I want to be able to go out with my friends and not have to plan weeks in advance so that I have a baby-sitter lined up. It's hard because none of my friends have children yet, so they don't have those obligations.

Why can't we just be content with what we have? There are so many people dealing with health issues, family issues, all sorts of issues. I should be happy that we are healthy (except for the colds that my entire family is currently sporting). I should be happy that we have a roof over our heads and clothes on our backs. Of course life could be easier...

I'm going to make a conscious effort to be happy with my life...or to find out what I am lacking.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Five Months....

Jack Ryan...

You are five months old! You have started doing so many new things! You seem to get bigger every day and learn a new "trick" every day! Here's what you are up to these days:

You wear a size 2-3 or 3 diaper.
You finally rolled over from your tummy to your back on October 24.
You still love your bouncy seat
You have a "lovey" that you love to hold and chew on (it's a little blankie with a dog or a bear)
You are very strong! You try to sit up whenever we hold you.
You wear size 6-9 months clothes.
You love to take baths and to be naked!
You love to play with your rings
You still suck your thumb a lot!
You love Clifford the Big Red Dog.
You sleep for 12 hours at night and don't really like to take naps during the day unless you are sleeping on someone. I love the weekends because I can lay on the couch with you and snuggle!
You are eating lots of different fruits and vegetables these days.
You hate green beans and peas.
You love carrots, squash, sweet potatoes, apples with cherries, pears, and bananas.
You "talk" non-stop!
Your laugh is the sweetest sound in the world.
You are absolutely the reason I get up every morning!

Monday, September 21, 2009

Four Months

Jack are four months old! What's up with you these days?

You weigh about 16 pounds (we will hit the doctor for the official four month weight tomorrow afternoon) and are about 25 inches long (by mom's estimation...I'm probably WAY off).

You wear a size two diaper, but the next box we buy will be the size 2-3.

You wear size 3-6 month or 6 month clothes for the most part, though there are a couple three month items that you still wear that are actually big on you.

You don't really like your swing much anymore, so we have moved that into the spare bedroom for "emergency use" so that we could have room for your new excersaucer.

Speaking of the exersaucer. You aren't quite sure what to think of it. Depending on the time of day, you will hang out in there for 10-15 minutes and then you get annoyed.

You recently discovered your hands (not that you haven't been sucking on them for months), but this week you have started holding them out in front of your face and staring at them for a while with an amazed look on your face. It cracks mommy and daddy up.

Thursday, September 17, 2009


I know it has been almost a month since I have written. School started and I have been busy trying to get into a groove of working, spending time with Jack, and having some time for myself. I just needed to take a minute to talk about a family that is on my mind tonight.

I read a lot of blogs. One that I have read for quite a while is this one. This family as endured unspeakable tragedy. In July 2003, they welcomed their first child, a beautiful little girl named Madeline. In December of that year, their little girl was diagnosed with a bladder tumor (and later a tumor at the base of her spine). Her tumor could not be classified and baffled the doctors. After a long battle, Madeline passed away just after her first birthday in August 2004.

In 2006, the couple welcomed Grant to their family. Now a dinosaur-loving three year old, Grant is thankfully healthy.

In October 2008, Annette joined their family. Unbelievably, in December 2008, Annette was diagnosed with a tumor in nearly the same spot at the base of her spine as her sister had. Again, it baffled the doctors. Genetic testing was done and it was determined that something was going on, but fortunately, the mutated gene has not been passed on to Grant. Annette went home on hospice care not too long ago after it was determined there wasn't anything more that could be done. Last night, she joined her big sister Maddy in heaven. When I woke up this morning and checked my blogs, my heart just broke for this family. I can't imagine losing one child, let alone two. It just does not seem fair.

The streets are too full of tiny angels tonight. I can only hope that this family finds strength in knowing that their little girls have touched the lives of so many people across the world that have never even met them. I will think about them this weekend as I hold my beautiful baby boy. I hope that you will all hug your children a little tighter tonight and tell your family how much they mean to you.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Three Months

My oh my...where does the time go?!

Jack Ryan, you are three months old today! So, what's new in your world?

You currently wear a size two diaper.

You wear 3 month clothes and some 3-6 month clothes. We are having trouble with clothes for you because you are very long but are not filling the clothes in so they look baggy on you.

You weigh approximately 14 pounds (you haven't been to the doctor since you were two months old). And you are about 24 inches long.

You started completely sleeping through the night in the past couple weeks. We have a night every now and then where you wake up at about 5:30 and decide you want to eat, but otherwise, you are sleeping until almost 7AM. Some days we even have to wake you up!

You go to bed sometime between 8PM and 9PM most nights. Occasionally you are up later, but we are trying to get you into more of a routine.

You love to read books! Your favorites are the baby signs book that has funny pictures and the peek-a-boo book where we lift the flaps and you see pictures of animals. It's so cute to watch you laugh at the pages.

Speaking of laughing, you are starting to laugh more. It is a sound that melts mommy's heart! You laugh pretty hard if we blow on your belly...and even laugh when mommy uses the booger sucker on you! You are the only child mom knows that loves that thing!

You love to sit in your bouncy seat and look at thes lights.

You are also obsessed with fans. You started looking at the mirror in the living room and it took me a few days to realize that you couldn't see the actual fan on the ceiling, so you started watching it in the mirror!

You have started watching tv. It's actually kind of funny because you will crane your neck to see the tv...especially if the Cardinals are playing! Mommy doesn't want you to watch tv, but sometimes it's funny to watch you look at the screen. I'm pretty sure you are just mesmerized by the colors.

You are a very good eater. We started giving you cereal with a spoon and you are doing really well. We have some incidents (yes, mommy dropped the entire bowl into your lap, and sometimes you slap the spoon out of my hand) but for the most part you actually eat it pretty well. We can't wait to see how you react to vegetables next month!

You are eating bottles about every three hours during the day....and you eat about 5 or 6 ounces at a time. We are able to stretch those feedings a little by giving you cereal in the morning and at dinnertime.

You are actually pretty independent and don't like to be held sometimes. You just want to sit in your bouncy seat or swing or even lay on the floor and play.

You have really discovered your voice over the past couple weeks and babble constantly. Daddy and I laugh because sometimes it sounds like you say real words. We have heard "uh oh" "oh yeah" and "no" numerous times. You also sound like you say "mama" all the time. Okay, mostly when you are crying.

You obsessively suck on your thumb. Sometimes, you even suck on both of them at the same time. We think you are starting the teething process, so your hands are always in your mouth. And you drool a lot.

In all, you are the best thing that I have ever done. I love you very much! I can't wait to see the person you are going to become.

I will add pictures tomorrow! My computer is acting up today!

Thursday, August 13, 2009


I am feeling really guilty today. I am having a hard time with the fact that I can't just go and do what I want to do when I want to do it. I can't just drop things and go out with my friends. I can't just go out for dinner and drinks anymore. I think that is so hard for me because none of my friends have babies yet. They can all come and go as they please.

I was so excited because I had planned a night out with all my friends for this Friday night. My former roommate (who was also my maid of honor) lives about four hours away now and she was supposed to come into town and stay with us for the weekend. My other good friends were supposed to all get together tomorrow night and go out to dinner and then out to a few bars. My husband got the night off and is going to stay home with Jack.

Tonight, my out of town friend let me know that her husband was just told that he has to work this weekend, so they aren't coming into town. I'm so upset. I haven't seen her in almost two months and was so looking forward to seeing her. This also means that I can't really drink if we go out because she was going to be my only hope for someone to stay sober to drive me home. I won't drive if I have had anything to drink. So, I'm half tempted to just not go at all. At this point, my two other friends aren't even answering my calls, so maybe they aren't going either (although I talked to both of them yesterday and they were both excited to go out).

But, I'm just so mad at myself because I am resenting my sweet little boy. I love him so much, but sometimes I wish for just a day when I can do what I want to do and not worry about what he needs. Being a parent is hard work, and it is honestly much harder than I ever thought. I feel like such a horrible person for feeling this way. I know there are so many people out there that would give anything for a baby, and here I am complaining about not being able to go out. I should be ashamed of myself.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Heavy Stuff

Today was a day full of ups and downs. Up because my baby boy slept for five straight hours in his crib like a big boy last night and because he continues to give me the biggest smiles when I get him out of his crib in the morning (it's my favorite part of the day). Down because my secretary was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis today. She got a tentative diagnosis last week, but today she was officially told that it was for sure.

I guess that I don't understand why these things happen to a person as wonderful as Betsy. She is the funniest, most kind-hearted person that I have had the pleasure of meeting. I have to admit, I am not a religious person, but I believe in God. It's times like these that I have a hard time understanding why God can't keep these things from happening. People say that He doesn't give us more than we can handle at any given time, but it just doesn't seem like that is always the case. It absolutely breaks my heart to know the pain that she will have to go through in the coming months and years. She doesn't deserve this.

I'm also personally having a really hard time right now. I just don't feel as happy as I think I should. I realized over the weekend that I think a lot of it has to do with losing my grandma so soon after Jack was born. I was obviously very sad, but, because I had an 11 day old baby, my days were kind of consumed with figuring out how to care for him. I don't think that I really properly grieved the loss and it's really hitting me now. I was at grandma's house last night helping go through some things and price things for a yard sale we are going to have in a few weeks. Just thinking of selling the house that I really grew up in is a concept that I can't even wrap my head around right now. That was always grandma's house. That was always my sanctuary. No matter what was going on in my life, I knew that I could go there and just talk to her (and my grandpa when he was alive)...we could watch a Cardinals baseball game together, or just a game show. She was so neurotic some times, but that made her who she was I guess. I miss her terribly and am devestated knowing that Jack won't know his great grandma Shirley that loved him so much before he was even born. She used to call me while I was pregnant and say "How is my Jack today?" I would respond "Hold on, let me ask him." And she would laugh and ask me if he was kicking a lot. Somehow, he usually was when I was talking to her. She loved babies and I am so glad that she got to meet Jack.

Okay, I am going to spend a little time with my baby boy before he goes to bed for the night.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Wedding Flashback...

So, over at Kelly's Corner there is are doing a thing where you "Show Us Your Life". This week, we are showing off our wedding dresses. So, here are some photos. Now, mind you, some of these are pictures of pictures, others are just candids from our wedding day, so please bear with me!

Okay, so you can't really see my dress in this one...but it's my favorite picture from the day. I absolutely love it. You see, the day of our wedding was started raining during the ceremony (a huge, huge storm rolled in...we were watching it during our short ceremony through the floor to ceiling windows where we had our ceremony). It didn't stop for a while, so we weren't going to be able to go take outdoor pictures like we wanted to. However, when we got to the reception site, the sun came out, so I decided that we should tromp through the wet grass to get some pictures next to the pond in the back of the reception hall. was sunny!

My dress was actually ivory and had spaghetti straps and a lot of embellishment at the back of the dress on the train. I absolutely loved it. None of my pictures really show off the detail of the dress at all. My veil was pretty just had some little jewel rhinestone things on the edges with some beads.
In this next picture you can see the back of the dress a had a corset back which I loved. It held everything in place where it needed to be! This was where we got married...the whole wall behind us was floor to ceiling windows (we got married on the college campus where I work. This room overlooks the was quite pretty).

This was the back of my hair. I loved the hairpins that I ordered. They were fantastic! And I got them for super cheap on Etsy. I didn't love the front of my hair (I wished it was a little more poufy but what are you going to do?).

And this picture lets you see some of the embellishment on my dress. I was looking quite shiny at this point. I was actually sick on my wedding day...I ended up with a nasty case of strep throat and a 103 degree temperature by Monday. But, somehow I was okay on the wedding day. I think someone was watching over me that day and making sure i was okay. By the next morning, I could barely swallow. It was then that I was really happy we waited to go on our honeymoon (we left a week after our wedding). It also worked out well because my sister actually went into labor on Monday with my beautiful niece Ava, so if we had left right after the wedding, I would have missed seeing her when she was first born...although I didn't get to hold her until Thursday because of my illness.

So, those are a few snapshots from my wedding day. I have tons more, but I'll save some more for next week when we will be showing off our wedding party, etc. Woohoo!

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Two Months

Jack Ryan...

You are two whole months old today! I am not sure where the time has gone. Here are a few things about you this month...

You STILL sleep in your car seat, however, you now sleep very well in your car seat in your crib. We aren't sure why you refuse to lay flat, but you do. As soon as mommy lays you down, you wake up, even if you are completely asleep. It's bizarre.

You are still in a size one diaper but they seem to be much smaller than they once were!

You are wearing 0-3 month or 3 month clothes now. You have a couple pairs of newborn shorts that still fit you...however, when I held them up to a pair of your three month shorts from a different store, the newborn ones are actually bigger. Can't quite figure that out.

According to our scale at home, you weigh about 12 pounds now and when we measure you, you are about 23 inches long (maybe a little less). We think you are going to be tall!

You still love to hang out in your swing and take little naps in there. You also like to just look around while you swing.

You also love to lay in your bed and look up at the monkey mobile. You smile at it a lot.

Speaking of smiling, you are getting more generous with the smiles. If someone smiles at you, you will smile back at them. It melts peoples hearts to see that toothless little grin.

You are awake much more during the day now, which is exciting. We talk to you, sing lots of songs, and play with you. At night, you have gotten pretty consistent. You typically go to sleep between 10PM and 10:30PM and sleep until 4AM, then you go back to sleep. This has been good for mom and dad. We take turns getting up with you at night. You just want a little something to eat and then you go right back to sleep.

The biggest change this month is that mom has gone back to work. It was really hard for on the other hand are enjoying your time at grandma's house.

You are such a wonderful little boy! We love you Jack Ryan.

At one month...

At two months....

Monday, July 6, 2009

4th of July and Back to work

We had a fun weekend with our families! On 4th of July, we visited with both Ryan's family and my family. The weather was definitely not great! It rained for a good chunk of the day, then it was cloudy and cool, and then it rained again. The fireworks were canceled, so we didn't get to see them. My aunts neighbor was setting off some really cool ones, so we watched a bit of those before heading home. Jack was mesmerized by them!

On Sunday, Ryan's nephew Rory was baptized. Jack and I didn't go to the church, but we went over to their house afterwards for a BBQ. We hung out there for a few hours. When we came home, I had a massive task to complete. I had to clean out my closed. it was a mess!! I had been putting this off the entire time I have been on maternity leave, but it was finally time to do it. It took me three hours, but I finally got it finished. I really wanted to take all of my clothes out and reorganize them, but I didn't have time for that. I felt accomplished when I was done.

I have to go to work tomorrow to interview a candidate for a new position in my office. This person would report to me, so I'm pretty excited. I am not, however, happy to be working the next three days when I am supposed to be on maternity leave. I officially go back to work on July 15. I am NOT happy about it. I want to stay home with my sweet baby boy. He is just getting to a fun stage where he is awake more and is starting to smile a lot and be more interactive. But, mom has to make some money! I know that it will be hard for a while but that it will get easier to leave him every morning. I am such a dork...I'm getting teary just typing this! I'm trying to win the $130 million Mega Millions lottery jackpot tomorrow so that I don't have to go back, but that doesn't quite seem likely!

I will leave you with some photos...

A family photo on 4th of July. Jack's face cracks me up. He's so cute!

I just think that he looks like such a big boy in this picture. I just love that little face!!

Jack and his Papa. He loves Papa!

Tuesday, June 30, 2009


Well, Jack was born six weeks ago today. I don't know where the time has gone. I have to go back to work in two weeks...and I'm not happy about it at all! I even went and bought a lottery ticket yesterday in the hopes that I would win the $94 million prize so I could just stay at home. I'm not looking forward to leaving my baby boy behind.

Anyway. I go to the doctor today for my six week checkup. I should be cleared for all activities...not that I haven't pretty much been doing what I want. I'm hoping that I will be able to get my doctor to say that I am cleared to go back to work as of next Monday as opposed to clearing me for tomorrow. I am not going back to work until July 15, but once I am cleared by him I can't use my sick time, I have to just use vacation. I have plenty of vacation time, but we have are planning a trip out to Arizona in the fall and then my whole family will be going to Mexico in the spring. Should be good times!

On a sad note, I can't believe that Michael Jackson AND Billy Mays died this week. That's so sad! Ryan feels personally responsible for Billy Mays death...that's a long story! And am I the only one that thinks that Farrah Faucet got screwed because Michael Jackson died the same day she did? She kind of got pushed to the end of all the newscasts. And really, is anyone still talking about her death? Not really. However about half of the Today Show this morning was about Michael Jackson.

Anywho...I'm going to do a couple things before Jack wakes up from his nap! Have a lovely Tuesday.

Monday, June 22, 2009


So, I have been struggling to write this post for a couple weeks. But, I'm finally ready to really write it.

So, anyone that knows me knows that my parents are divorced...and have been since I was six. Because of this, I'm close really only with my moms family. Of my moms family, my grandparents were the people that I was closest with. My grandma babysat me and my sister (and about two dozen other kids over the years). My grandpa was the only constant male influence in my life.

My grandparents were everything to me. My grandpa got sick...asbestoses...and passed away three years ago (July 11, 2006). I was absolutely devastated. (there is a side story of my grandpa passing away...Ryan and I went on our first official date on July 2 of that year. He came to my grandpa's funeral and it was literally that day that I knew we would be together for a very long time). I digress...

So, my grandma has been sick for a long time. But, she is a tough lady. This spring, she got pneumonia and ended up in the hospital and then in a nursing home for rehabilitation for a couple weeks. But, she got home. She was so excited for Jack to arrive. She love, love, loved babies. As you know, he came two weeks early. She couldn't wait to meet him. She didn't get to the hospital to meet him, so the Saturday after he was born (on May 23), I took him to her house and she met him. She was so excited to see him. That week, I brought him to her house several times.

You see, about a week before Jack was born, my grandma was put on Hospice care. We were told that she was going on it because her time with Home Health Care (the lovely people that had been coming a couple times a week since she came home from the Nursing Home) was running out (basically Medicare wouldn't pay for it anymore). In order to keep people coming to the house, they had to put her on Hospice. We had gone through this with my grandpa previously, so we knew what to expect.

However, the week that Jack was born, we were told that Grandma probably only had about two weeks to live. Then on Thursday the week after he was born, the hospice nurse told my mom that she didn't think Grandma would make it through the weekend. Imagine being all hormonal after just having a child and then learning that you were going to lose one of your favorite people in the world. I was a mess. On Friday my mom called me and said that she didn't think that it more than a day or so. I dropped Jack off at Ryan's parents and headed to grandma's house. I sat there for a couple hours before finally heading home that evening. My mom said she would call me if anything happened over night.

That night, I was asleep with Jack on the couch and I had a dream. It was my grandpa and he was telling me that he was with grandma and that she was okay. I woke up and was convinced that she had passed away and expected my mom to call. But, she didn't. The next morning I got to her house with Jack as soon as I could. My whole family just sat there and basically waited for her to pass away. She finally did at about 1:30 that afternoon. My sister was holding Jack sitting next to her. My mom, stepdad, and I were outside taking a break when it happened. it was so sad.

We miss grandma so much. But, we know that we took care of her. My mom promised my grandpa that she would take care of grandma and that we would keep her at home. We were able to do that.

We found out after she passed that she had a conversation with her best friend the week before Jack was born. Her friend talked about being tired and being ready to go. My grandma said that she wasn't ready yet because she had a baby coming. She was just waiting for Jack. So, the last picture we have of her is this one...with her newest great-grandson that she already loved so much.

I love you and miss you very much Grandma. Thank you for all you did to make me the person that I am today.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

One Month

Jack--I can't believe you are one month old already! Where has the time gone. Some things about you right now...

You love to be in your swing and take a nap. Daddy and I have vowed to never let the swing be without batteries!

You enjoy being propped up in the boppy pillow while mommy gets ready. I think that it makes you feel like I big boy to be sitting up.

You love to stare at fans--even if they are not on. People tell me that you can't see that far. I don't believe that for a second. You obviously see something up there!

Speaking of what you can love to stare at the TV. I know you have no clue what you are looking at...but you stare! Your favorite thing is when we watch Cardinals games.

You still refuse to sleep anywhere except in your car seat. You refuse to to sleep laying flat. We are working on that, but it's not going so well. Daddy and I hope to have you sleeping in your bed by the time you are two months old.

You are wearing size one diapers (such a big boy) but are still mainly wearing newborn clothes. You can wear some 0-3 months items (especially onesies--shorts/pants are an issue because you don't have a butt to hold them up). You have already outgrown your newborn shoes.

You like to go on walks in your stroller (though it's currently WAY too hot outside to go for a walk.)

You love to take naps on the couch with mom. We have a routine of taking a nap in the morning after daddy leaves for work. It's moms favorite time of the day.

You are starting to smile so much more now. You have a time every morning when you are awake that you just smile at mommy. I'm so glad that I have caught these smiles on camera so that I can share them with daddy.

You are waking up about two times every night to eat. We go to bed sometime between 10 and 11 and then you get up around 3AM to have your diaper changed and to eat. You then go back to sleep and wake up around 6 or 6:30 for another feeding. This is much better than those first nights at home!

You recently started getting cereal in your night time bottle to help with some reflux you were having. We are hoping that this will help you sleep more at night.

You are starting to make noises and sometimes even scare yourself as you make a noise!

You love to lay on your changing table for a few minutes after a diaper change and just look around. Mom loves to talk to you during this time.

You enjoy taking baths and then having lotion put on your arms and legs.

All in all, you are a great little boy. You have added a great deal of joy to my life! Happy one month birthday baby boy! Mommy loves you!

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Being a mom--after 1 month

I can't believe it...but my baby boy will be a whole month old tomorrow. It absolutely doesn't seem possible. We are getting more comfortable, though I honestly still feel overwhelmed some days. The fact that I am completely responsible for this little person never escapes my mind. He is so helpless. It's amazing how much he has changed in just one month. I mean, we have gone from this:
to this in four short weeks
He is just so freaking cute. I know that I am absolutely biased. But, come on...look at that little face!!

Don't get me wrong. I have my moments. Okay, I have a lot of moments when I can't help but think of my life before Jack. The freedom to just go somewhere without planning for days was wonderful. Heck, the freedom to just go to the bathroom whenever I wanted to was great (and something I miss on occasion when Mr. Jack won't let me put him down so I can pee). My friends can all go out, go to concerts, and do whatever they want without thinking about it. I don't have that luxury anymore. Believe me...I have about 20 people that will babysit anytime I want. But, I don't want to be one of those people that dumps her kid just so she can go out. That said, I am very excited to go to my friend Nikki's wedding this weekend and to enjoy some time with my husband. Jack will be spending the night with his Aunt Jenny so mom and dad can have a whole night away (we even got a hotel room. Woohoo).

All that said...I absolutely love my baby boy. He makes my day happier. Especially when I see this...
I know it's blurry, but it's the first absolutely huge grin he has given me while awake (he smiles a lot in his sleep...but that doesn't count). This absolutely melted my heart.

Sunday, June 14, 2009


So, I spent last night at the emergency room with my baby. He started projectile vomiting yesterday and couldn't keep anything down. I knew that wasn't normal, so I called the after hours number for our pediatrician. They decided that it would be best to take him to the ER since he is so little.

We arrived at the ER at Cardinal Glennon Children's Hospital at about 11:30 last night. We spent a little over three hours there. We were basically told that they thought Jack might have pyloric stenosis which is a condition where a muscle at the entrance to the stomach grows too much and keeps food from getting into the stomach properly. The doctor tried to do an ultrasound since the radiology people were gone for the evening. He couldn't see what he needed to see, so he decided that we needed to come back in the morning for an ultrasound.

There was no sleep for us when we got home...I was so so worried. You see, if he did have this condition, the only treatment would be surgery. The thought of my baby having surgery was too much for me.

We went to the hospital again today and had the ultrasound. Thankfully it was normal, so we think that baby boy has acid reflux. We will follow up with his pediatrician tomorrow and hopefully he will get some medicine so he isn't throwing up so much.

I guess this is just the beginning of my worrying and freaking out about my baby being sick and hurting. All I know is that I would have done anything last night to make him feel better.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Mommyhood's been forever. But, here I am...attempting to get back into the blogging world. So, my last post was on May 17, 2009. That was a Sunday. In that post I discussed my doctors appointment the next day. Well, that doctors appointment turned into more than I bargained for! I went in and waited for an hour while my doctor was delivering a baby and then was taken to a room. When I was finally seen I told the doctor that I hadn't been feeling the baby move much at all over the past day. He said that it was probably nothing but that he would feel better if I went down for a non-stress test in the labor and delivery area. So, away I went. I fully expected to be strapped to a monitor for about a half an hour and then be sent on my way.

So, I get all hooked up and they turn on the TV for me. I sit there and watch some Price is Right (Am I the only one that misses Bob Barker??). After about 15 minutes, the nurse comes in and brings me some apple juice and graham crackers. She says that sugar will usually get the baby moving. And, well, it does. He moves a couple times...but then all hell breaks loose. I am watching the heart rate on the monitor and after I drank the apple juice, his heart rate plummets from in the 140's to the 70's. I've never seen a nurse run into the room so quickly (and still haven't). She waits while his heart rate returns to normal and then tells me she is going to call the doctor. A few minutes later, she is back telling me that the doctor wants some blood work run and that he wants me to have an ultrasound. So, the blood draw occurs, I give a urine sample (the second one of that day) and then I'm off to radiology.

Now, at this point, I'm still not concerned or worried. I figure that baby is fine...and I'm ready to have the kid anyway, so it's okay. Well, I go for the ultrasound...which is one where they watch him for a half an hour and look for movement and also for breathing motions. 15 minutes in they haven't seen either. Now, his heart rate is perfectly fine...but even with poking and prodding, he isn't budging. They finally see breathing motions about 20 minutes in. At 30 minutes, he still hasn't moved. Then the technician says "I'll be back in just a minute". She returns with another person and they start looking at something on the monitor. For a full five minutes they talk in hushed tones and I have a meltdown. They can't tell me what they are looking at they just tell me to ask the doctor. I start bawling. They get me back to the room that I was in for the non-stress test and I call my mom (she is much, much closer to the hospital than my husband who I am also in contact with). I ask mom to come to the hospital because I am freaking out.

My doctor arrives about 10 minutes later and tells me that he is slightly concerned because of the drop in heart rate and the fact that baby failed the ultrasound test (darnit Jack, you failed your first test!). He indicates that he would like to induce labor that day. Baby will be better off out of the uterus than he is in there. I agree. So, they get me into a room and get me all hooked up to an IV and to the monitors and at 4:45 that afternoon they insert the cervadil which will help my labor progress.

The whole labor story would be rather long...but here are the highlights. I get the cervadil and have to lay flat on my back for two hours. it's horrible. Laying on your back is normally no big deal...but when you are 85 months pregnant and haven't laid on your back for about 7 months, its torture. So, at 6:45 I am able to get up. At this point, things are fine. I'm not feeling anything. The plan was for the cervadil to be in for 12 hours and at 4:45 in the morning they would start potocin. Well, I apparently had other plans. At about 9:00 that night, my water broke. My family had just left for the night and it was just Ryan and I there.

At about 10:30, I was in pain...horrible pain. I called my mom and told her that my water had broken and that I was hurting. About an hour later she decided to come back to the hospital. At about 2AM, I decided to get an epidural. I was expecting this to be slightly unpleasant, but I was excited for the relief it would provide. Yeah...then the nurse anesthetist arrived. I don't think he knew what he was doing. He had to stick me with the giant needle five times before he finally got it. Each time he would comment about how he was scraping the bone with the needle. Really? Cuz I'm pretty sure I can feel that buddy. So, he gets the epidural in and I lay down, excited that I will be in less pain and feeling good soon. Um, not so much. My epidural didn't really work. I had what's called a partial block...where parts of your body react but others don't. Unfortunately the area that I really needed to be numb didn't get numb. So, I was miserable.

Long story short, they gave me a delightful narcotic at about 1PM that didn't take the pain away but that made me loopy (I apparently told my sister to go get the car and to get me out of there). At 2:50PM it was determined that I was ready to push. The nurse told my mom that she thought I would probably push for two hours. Well, I was determined to get that kid out of there. He was born at 3:45PM (he would have been born sooner but my doctor wasn't there...and I had to not push for about 10 minutes...sweet jesus that was ridiculous). He was a whopping 7 pounds 14 ounces and was 19 inches long. Not too shabby for being two weeks early. I was exhausted and all I wanted was a shower and some food.

So, that's the story of how Jack Ryan came into the world. It was HORRIBLE (and no, I have not forgotten the pain yet), but he was worth it. I mean, look at this face...

Sunday, May 17, 2009


So, as I approach 38 weeks in my pregnancy I am getting super miserable. I can't put my own shoes on unless they are flip flops. I woke up this morning and my back is killing me. This is a very hard time because every new symptom or issue I have can actually also be symptom of pre-labor. I'm seriously ready for this baby to make his appearance. I go to the doctor tomorrow and I am seriously hoping that I will have made some progress in terms of dilating. I am also hoping that we will be able to set a date for an induction if I haven't had this baby. The doctor promised that he wouldn't let me go past my due date...which is now in two weeks. So, we will see. I'm going into my appointment very hopeful that we will have some new news to share. I'm afraid that I will leave the appointment in tears if nothing has changed and nothing is planned.

But, in the meantime, I'm off to enjoy my never know...I could have a little baby boy in my arms next Sunday!

Thursday, May 14, 2009

And an update...

Since I don't want to work today, it will be a two post day! This one will be very short. I went to the doctor on Monday for my 37 week appointment. I was really hoping that I had made some progress in terms of dilation from the previous week. Ummm...not so much. Still only a half centimeter dilated. I was devastated. As soon as the doctor left the room, I started crying. I couldn't stop myself! I felt like an idiot. I still technically have three weeks until my due date. But, I am so ready to have this baby! I just really thought that something else would be going on.

So, I go back to the doctor next Monday (May 18) and I have a list of options/questions to talk to him about. I am honestly hoping that he will schedule an induction date since he said that he won't let me go past my due date. He better stick to that or he will have one very angry pregnant woman. We will see. I'm going to try to enjoy the weekend...Ryan and I have a date set up for Saturday. We are going to go see Angels and Demons and then get some tropical sno (which is my current craving). We also have to do some cleaning at our house. That part isn't so much fun, but we need the house to be quasi-clean before baby comes home.

A letter to Jack

Ever since I found out I was expecting a little boy, I have been filling out an adorable little baby book for him. I'm determined to document my pregnancy and the first year of his life. In the book, there is a page for me to write a letter to Jack and for my husband to write a letter to him. I wrote my letter months ago. I have been trying to get the husband to write his for weeks, and he had promised to do so. You must understand that Ryan is a man of few words. He doesn't express his emotions well. When it comes to birthdays, Valentines Day, Mother's Day, etc. he always picks out cards with a lot of writing so that he doesn't have to write much. He always picks great cards that make me cry, so I don't mind. I know that he spends a lot of time finding the right card, so whether he wrote the words or Hallmark did, I know that the words mean something.

Finally on Tuesday night I told him that he absolutely had to write the letter to Jack that night. It was very important to me that both of those letters were written before his arrival. So, he started writing...there were numerous drafts. When I got home from work last night, I opened the baby book and read his letter. It was the most beautiful, thoughtful thing I had ever read. It was honest...he talked about how scared he was and how he worried he wouldn't be a good enough father. But he knew that had so many hopes and dreams for Jack...and that Jack was already his biggest accomplishment. I probably read that letter five times last night...and cried every time. It was like seeing my husband in a whole new way...and it was amazing.

I don't think that he has anything to worry about. He is going to be an incredible father to Jack. He loves him so much already (as I do) so I know that it will all be okay. So, it's now time for Mr. Jack to make his appearance. We absolutely cannot wait for him!

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Mother's Day

It's Mother's Day! I am so excited to share the day with my family. Most importantly, I am very excited about the fact that I am about to become a mom for the first time. I can't wait to meet my little man very soon. I go to the doctor tomorrow to find out if I am making any progress. I have been having a lot of Braxton Hicks contractions and some regular contractions that hurt a bit. I need to prepare myself for the pain that is coming my way. But, I am trying not to think about that. I am planning to get the lovely epidural, so I hope to not be in too much pain for too long. But, I know that it will all be worth it.

So, a very Happy Mother's Day to all the mom's out there...and to all those that are about to be become moms!

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

No Baby Talk Today

So, after reading through my measly few posts, I have decided that I whine way too much about being pregnant. Thus, this is a whine-free, baby-free post!

As I have mentioned, I work at a University. I plan events for a living..and honestly, it's probably the best job in the world. I get to hang out with students all day and do fun things. I have met some really interesting people (I mean, I was hugged by porn star Ron Jeremy--it was my mom's proudest moment when she picked up a newspaper and my name was in the same sentence with Ron Jeremy's) because I have brought them to campus. It is an amazing gig.

It's the end of the semester. Tomorrow is the last day of finals for the kiddo's. That means it was time for me to complete my "end of the year stuff" for my boss. I was actually kind of impressed with myself. We put on 151 events this year. Over 28,500 people in total attended those events. We put on some extremely successful programs. I am really proud of all that we did this year.

While I absolutely love my job, I can't help but think about wanting to do something more. I know that I really always want to work in a university setting (unless the St. Louis Cardinals need a Special Events person--then I'm out of here!). I am hoping that I will be able to progress in my job...take on new responsibilities. But, we will see. My boss will be retiring in about two years, so I'm kind of hoping that something will come of that. We shall see.

Okay, I'm off to watch the end of American Idol. Danny better not get the boot...

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Scared Out Of My Mind...

Well, I went to the doctor yesterday for my 36 week appointment. I knew that this would be the time that they would start checking to see if I was progressing at all. Well, I am about a half centimeter dilated. It's not a lot, but it's something. I was pretty excited. The doctor also told me that if I went into labor now, they wouldn't stop the labor, they would let Jack come. I left the doctor in a great mood and texted my husband to give him all the dirt. As I was sitting at home last night, my euphoric mood went away and it all hit me. This baby is coming sooner rather than later!

I was glad that hubby was at work last night, because I needed a moment to myself. I sat in the nursery for the longest time and just stared at everything. Sure I have been working on that room for months. Sure I have felt this baby move inside me since late December. But, it wasn't until yesterday that it truly hit me that I will be a mom in a couple weeks. It seems like such a huge task. I have been around a lot of babies. I have changed a ton of diapers. I have fed a lot of bottles. But these kids always belonged to someone else. It's easy to care for an infant when you have specific care instructions. When it is your own child, you have to make up the rules. You have to make the schedule. You are responsible for their well-being and happiness. My dear, dear husband had never even changed a diaper until I forced him to change our nephew last week. He is pretty clueless when it comes to babies. I know that he is relying on me to be the voice of reason in those early weeks. I just don't know how to do that when I am so unsure of myself.

Please don't get me wrong. I am so excited to welcome Jack into our family. And I feel extremely blessed that we were able to conceive him without any difficulties (because I know plenty of people that try for years and years with no success). But, there is still that fear of the unknown. Not to mention all of the things that can go wrong. I read a lot of blogs. I am actually very new to the blog thing...and probably one of the first blogs that I really read religiously was this one. If you haven't read it, I would encourage you to go back to the beginning (at least to here) and read it from March 2008 to the present day. I will warn you, it will absolutely break your heart (have the tissues ready). But, in all of the tears, there is so much hope. But, in spite of the undeniable sense of hope that I feel as I read the more recent posts, I can't shake the feeling that something like that could happen to me. What would my wonderful husband do if I weren't around to help him raise our beautiful baby boy. Life can change in the blink of an eye. You never know what is going to happen. I know that is one of the most beautiful parts of life--the absolute unknown. But, lets be realistic. It's also scary as hell. But, I am trying to go into the next few weeks, months, and years with the thought that everything will be perfectly wonderful. You have to believe that...otherwise it would be impossible to get out of the bed every morning.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Four More Weeks

Well, since I haven't posted anything since March, you would think I would have a lot to say. Not so much! I am now nearly 36 weeks pregnant. Baby Jack should be here soon! I can't believe it is almost time! His nursery is ready for him. We feel like we are ready for him. Now it is just a waiting game. I go to the doctor tomorrow and hopefully I will find out that I have made some sort of progress. We will see though.

I could go on and on about how scared I am, etc. But, that will have to wait for tomorrow.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

29 Weeks

I haven't updated this in forever. I am horrible! I reached 29 weeks in my pregnancy today. My little man seems to be doing very well. He moves around frequently and seems to be getting bigger. We had a 3D ultrasound last was the most amazing experience of my life thusfar. Seeing that sweet little face on the screen was awesome. He has chubby little cheeks and the tech even said that he has hair already (which would probably explain all of the heartburn I have been having).

I can't really complain about pregnancy up to this point. I haven't been sick, I'm not experiencing any swelling so far. I have only gained 11 or 12 pounds up to this point. My only real complaint is that I have started having some heart palpitations. They were so bad early last week that I actually went to the doctor about them. All of my books indicated that palpitations were normal but that they would just last for a couple minutes. Mine were happening the whole day--for two days straight. Of course, they stopped as soon as I got to the doctors office. But, he decided to do some blood work and check for a couple things. I haven't heard anything back from them...or about my glucose screening. I go back to the doctor on Monday (I'm starting to go every two weeks now) so I guess I will hear all about the blood work then.

We got the crib put together, the nursery painted, and the chair rail put up. My baby shower is in two weeks...I am super excited about that! I don't feel at all prepared to have a baby, so I am hoping that I will feel a bit more prepared after I get "stuff" at the shower.

My main focus right now is making sure that I have a healthy baby boy. I love him so much already and can't wait to plant a big kiss on that little head!

In other news, I am rather stressed at work right now. There is a lot going on and my boss was acting kind of odd this afternoon. Who knows...maybe he was just having a not so good day (that or he just wanted to go home instead of staying for a 6:30pm meeting). I am hoping that tomorrow will be a little better. At least tomorrow is Thursday and I get to have a quiet weekend.

That's about it for now! Have a great rest of the week.

Saturday, February 7, 2009


Today, I feel like a failure as a wife. You see, my wonderful husband has been job searching for a long time. He received his master's degree nearly two years ago and has not been able to find a job in his field. He currently has a's just not overly conducive to the life we are about to have with our unborn child (i.e. he works a lot of evenings and weekends). I just want him to have a job that has mainly regular hours. I mean, my job isn't strictly nine to five, but most evenings and weekends, I can be at home...with a few exceptions. I have just been having this realization this week that in a couple months, I am going to spending most of my time alone with a newborn while he is working. Our schedules are just so opposite.

He feels like a complete failure for not being able to find a job. I know this...yet I keep pestering him about it. I can't just let it go...he knows this baby is coming in a few months, so why do I feel the need to remind him? I just want to feel like there is a plan in place. And right now, I don't know what the plan is. So, I keep bringing it up. And he gets frustrated. Then, I feel bad for nagging him...and that's when I realize I am a horrible wife. It's an awful feeling. I just want to feel secure. Is that asking too much?

Saturday, January 31, 2009

Let's get real

So, I hit a wall this weekend. Up until now, pregnancy has been great. It's been an experience filled with a lot of excitement. I have been very fortunate to have had a fairly easy pregnancy (knock on wood). That part hasn't changed. However, today, I realized that "holy crap, this kid is coming in a few months!!" The realization came when my friend Jenn called me and said "do you want to go shopping with me this afternoon?" I agreed to go...but then it hit me...that I wouldn't be able to just drop everything and do whatever I wanted to in a few months.

You should know that I am fiercely independent person. I want to do what I want, when I want. I don't want to ask anyone's permission before I go do something. I know that my life is going to change when the baby comes. I also know that I am going to love him with all my heart and that I will be a good mom. But, I have this fear that maybe I will resent him for taking away some of my independence.

I am absolutely sure that this is a very normal feeling to be having a few months before the arrival of your first child. I feel really guilty for even thinking like this though. Having a baby is all that I have wanted for a long time. My wonderful husband is so excited...I think he has told the whole world that we are having a boy. It's hard not to be excited when I see the smile on his face as he kisses my belly.

I know that days like this...full of uneasiness and uncertainty are just going to continue to become more common. But, at the end of the day, I just want to have a healthy, happy baby boy. I can't wait to meet him!

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

It's A...

Well, last week we went to the doctor for our 20 week ultrasound. I believe that I have mentioned in the past that I am very impatient, so obviously I wanted to know whether we were having a boy or a girl. I had been having dreams that they weren't able to tell me what it was, and I was devastated! However, that did not happen! As the ultrasound tech was looking around, she took a lot of measurements, and was telling us what everything was. My poor husband just had this look on his face like "I have no clue what I am looking at" most of the time. Sure he saw the head, but then she started pointing out the kidneys and stuff...and well, she lost him.

But, eventually, she said "so you want to know the gender?" Um, yes please! So...drumroll please...we are having a boy! Okay, I have to be completely, brutally honest. I had about two seconds of disappointment. I was really hoping for a girl. I've only ever been around girls, so I honestly don't know what to expect with a boy. But, that disappointment seriously lasted two seconds. He is healthy and growing as he should be. So, little Jack will be joining our family in May.

I have spent time registering for all sorts of cute baby stuff. Last weekend, I bought a crib. Now I just have to get my brother in law over here to paint the nursery so we can put the crib together! Can't wait! My baby shower date is set for April all seems so far away, but I know the next couple months will fly by and he will be here before I know it!

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Can't I just be a lady of leisure?

One of the best parts of my job is that I get a ridiculous amount of time off at the holidays. Thus, I have been off work for the past two weeks. I have to go back to work on Monday...and I am dreading it! I know that everyone (save for a few really lucky millionaires and heiresses) has to work, but I just wanted to whine for a moment.

I love my job. I really, really do. I think that it is harder for me to go back this time because I know that the semester is going to be rough for me. It's going to be tough to get through a lot of events as I get bigger and more pregnant. But, people do it all the time, so I am sure that I will survive. My wonderful husband will help me out...

Speaking of pregnancy...Hubby and I find out the sex of the baby in about two weeks. We are both so excited. However, not quite as excited as I was when I felt the baby move for the first time last weekend. We have been trying to get hubby to catch the movement all week, and we think he finally felt it yesterday. The look he got on his face was amazing. It was this look for joy and excitement. So, things are progressing nicely. I am getting nervous, which I suppose is normal. I was holding my six month old niece a couple days ago and realized that I have so much to learn. I mean, what do I do when I bring this kid home? I don't know how to care for a baby all the time. Ugh...