2011 in Review

1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?

I went to a professional conference alone (I normally go with colleagues or take students)...and actually did this twice.  The first was a HUGE deal with big, important people from schools like Harvard and Yale.  And, I didn't make a fool of myself.  In fact, I think that I sounded intelligent in most conversations!  

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

My biggest New Years Resolution was to lose weight...and I started off well.  I will say that at this point, I actually weigh less than I did when I started the year...and I am nearly 23 weeks pregnant.  So, while I didn't hit that goal of losing 30 pounds this year, I have made progress, and will get back at it.  I don't know if I will make New Years Resolutions this year or not.  If I do, I think they will just have to do with loving my family and spending as much time with them and my friends as possible.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

My best friend had a baby girl in April.  Another friend just gave birth to a little boy 10 days ago...he was early and very tiny but is doing amazingly well.  My sister in law also had a baby girl in October--her sixth!  Wowza!  

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Thankfully, no.  It was a quiet year...which my family desperately needed after the last few years we have had.

5. What countries did you visit?

Absolutely none.  Although I did have to fly through Atlanta...and I'm pretty sure that airport can count as it's own country.  

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you didn’t have in 2011?

This is really hard.  I feel like I have so much and have had so many blessings.  I would like to have more time with my family and friends.  As my friends all start their families, it is even harder to make time for each other...but I know how amazing just a little time with them can be.  

I guess that better control of my finances would be another one.  This seems to haunt me from year to year.  

7. What dates from 2011 will be etched upon your memory, and why?

August 7--the day I found out I was going to be a mommy again.  October 24--my 30th birthday.  November 7--the day that it was confirmed that I will be taking on a new job in July 2012 that will utterly change my career and probably in some ways, change my life (and I haven't been able to really talk about it much, but hope that is about to change after the start of the new year).  December 8--the day it was confirmed that baby number 2 is a boy (and appears healthy)

8. What was your biggest achievement of this year?

I guess that I have a personal one and a professional one.  In my personal life, it would be that we decided to have a second child and were able to conceive this little guy.  Professionally, it would be sticking up for myself and asking for what I know I deserve. 

9. What was your biggest failure?

Not getting my finances in order.  And not thoroughly enjoying all of my time with my son.  I love him, but two years old is hard...and sometimes mama is very excited when bedtime rolls around.  

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

No. 

11. What was the best thing you bought?

My new iphone (hello love).  Also bought a new car (lower payment, brand new...love it).  

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Probably my husband who put up with my complete neurotic mindset through most of the year--and he didn't kill me (pretty sure he wanted to on multiple occasions).  

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

I can't think of an individual...more like groups of people.  Sometimes students drove me crazy this year.  Celebrities are insane for the most part.  Politicians in general.  The Obama-bashing people who think that the world is coming to an end.  

14. Where did most of your money go?

You know, mortgage, car, diapers (please let me get boy #1 pottytrained before boy #2 arrives).  Probably too many trips to restaurants.  

15. What did you get really excited about?

Learning I was pregnant (though that also scared the crap out of me), my new iphone (yup, I'm pathetic), and the prospect of new job responsibilities.  

16. What song will always remind you of 2011?

Probably something by Adele

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer?

I would like to say happier, but I'm probably about the same

Thinner by the scale, fatter by the maternity pants I'm currently sporting

Probably about the same

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Reading to my son.  Reading for myself.  Gotten more alone time (an hour a week...wow, that would be amazing).  Date nights with my husband (it's only going to get harder as we add to our family, but we really have to make a conscious effort to do this.  We went almost an entire year without a date night (that didn't involve attending a wedding).  

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Worrying.

20. How will you spend Christmas?

Running all over the place to see family.  But to me, that is Christmas.  

21. Did you fall in love in 2011?

I fell in love with my unborn child.  It is amazing how you can love something so much that you have haven't even met.  

22. What was your favorite TV program?

I watch way too much TV...but my favorites are Dexter (woah season finale last night), Grey's Anatomy, How I Met Your Mother, Glee (I'm still on board), and I recently discovered a love for The Big Bang Theory.  

23. What was the best book you read?

Honestly, I can't even remember.  Which is pathetic.  I have been doing so much research for work that my free time isn't spent reading for fun.  I have big plans to read over the holiday break though!  

24. What was your greatest musical discovery?

I love Adele.  

25. What did you want and get?

Pregnant.  A new car.  An iphone.  

26. What did you want and not get?

For my husband to get a new job with set hours that don't involve working most evenings and weekends. 

27. What was your favorite film of 2011?

Pretty sure that the only movie I saw in theaters was Harry Potter.  We don't get out much.  

28. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 30!  And for the first time in two years, I stayed at home alone during the day!  My son went to school that day and I got to enjoy some time at home...got a pedicure...went to lunch with a friend...laid in my bed for an hour.  It was blissful!  I got to have dinner with my family...and then a few days later went out to dinner with some friends.  

29. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Honestly, I'm not sure.  

30. How would you describe your personal fashion concept of 2011 ?

Ugh.  I have none.  Right now it is "does it fit?  Yes?  Put it on"

31. What kept you sane?

My husband, my friends, my sons hysterical laugh, Dr. Pepper

32. What political issue stirred you the most?

Obviously the economy is on everyone's minds right now.  I have already started to worry about the election next year.  Getting all of our troops out of Iraq this past weekend was great...my "baby" cousin just got home from Iraq and another has been before.  I would really like for our troops in Afghanistan to be removed as well before my cousin is sent there this summer.  Occupy Wall Street has kind of annoyed me more than anything. I get it...but sometimes I just want to tell people to get a job (any job).  I kind of lost it when a local TV station was interviewing one of the "occupiers" and they were complaining about how the only job they could get with their bachelor's degree was working at McDonalds.  Well...work at McDonalds.  My husband has a master's degree and works at a luggage store because he hasn't found a job in his field and he needs to help support our family.  You have to do what you have to do.  It sucks, but sometimes you do it.  (and I completely understand that there are people out there who can't even get jobs at McDonalds...but I think that many people could find SOMETHING if they stopped complaining...or even tried).  Okay, tirade over.  

33. Who did you miss?

I probably miss my best friend the most of all.  Since she had a baby in April, I haven't been able to see her much.  Actually, I haven't been able to see her since June.  Fortunately, we talk via email most days.  But, I still miss her face!  

I'm also missing my grandma terribly.  It hit me early in my pregnancy that my grandma would never meet this baby.  That was devastating to me.  She passed away 10 days after my oldest son was born...but she met him, and held him, and kissed his sweet cheeks.  I won't have that photo with this baby.  I miss her more than I thought...I think part of that has to do with the fact that I didn't properly grieve when she passed away because I was trying to survive with a newborn.  

34. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.

That people are generally good and will help out when they can.  That there are always people that have so much less to be thankful for than you do.  

35. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

I'm going to have to come back to this one...I'm lame and can't think of anything right now.  

Heavy Stuff

Today was a day full of ups and downs. Up because my baby boy slept for five straight hours in his crib like a big boy last night and because he continues to give me the biggest smiles when I get him out of his crib in the morning (it's my favorite part of the day). Down because my secretary was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis today. She got a tentative diagnosis last week, but today she was officially told that it was for sure.

I guess that I don't understand why these things happen to a person as wonderful as Betsy. She is the funniest, most kind-hearted person that I have had the pleasure of meeting. I have to admit, I am not a religious person, but I believe in God. It's times like these that I have a hard time understanding why God can't keep these things from happening. People say that He doesn't give us more than we can handle at any given time, but it just doesn't seem like that is always the case. It absolutely breaks my heart to know the pain that she will have to go through in the coming months and years. She doesn't deserve this.

I'm also personally having a really hard time right now. I just don't feel as happy as I think I should. I realized over the weekend that I think a lot of it has to do with losing my grandma so soon after Jack was born. I was obviously very sad, but, because I had an 11 day old baby, my days were kind of consumed with figuring out how to care for him. I don't think that I really properly grieved the loss and it's really hitting me now. I was at grandma's house last night helping go through some things and price things for a yard sale we are going to have in a few weeks. Just thinking of selling the house that I really grew up in is a concept that I can't even wrap my head around right now. That was always grandma's house. That was always my sanctuary. No matter what was going on in my life, I knew that I could go there and just talk to her (and my grandpa when he was alive)...we could watch a Cardinals baseball game together, or just a game show. She was so neurotic some times, but that made her who she was I guess. I miss her terribly and am devestated knowing that Jack won't know his great grandma Shirley that loved him so much before he was even born. She used to call me while I was pregnant and say "How is my Jack today?" I would respond "Hold on, let me ask him." And she would laugh and ask me if he was kicking a lot. Somehow, he usually was when I was talking to her. She loved babies and I am so glad that she got to meet Jack.

Okay, I am going to spend a little time with my baby boy before he goes to bed for the night.

Mommyhood

Wow...it's been forever. But, here I am...attempting to get back into the blogging world. So, my last post was on May 17, 2009. That was a Sunday. In that post I discussed my doctors appointment the next day. Well, that doctors appointment turned into more than I bargained for! I went in and waited for an hour while my doctor was delivering a baby and then was taken to a room. When I was finally seen I told the doctor that I hadn't been feeling the baby move much at all over the past day. He said that it was probably nothing but that he would feel better if I went down for a non-stress test in the labor and delivery area. So, away I went. I fully expected to be strapped to a monitor for about a half an hour and then be sent on my way.

So, I get all hooked up and they turn on the TV for me. I sit there and watch some Price is Right (Am I the only one that misses Bob Barker??). After about 15 minutes, the nurse comes in and brings me some apple juice and graham crackers. She says that sugar will usually get the baby moving. And, well, it does. He moves a couple times...but then all hell breaks loose. I am watching the heart rate on the monitor and after I drank the apple juice, his heart rate plummets from in the 140's to the 70's. I've never seen a nurse run into the room so quickly (and still haven't). She waits while his heart rate returns to normal and then tells me she is going to call the doctor. A few minutes later, she is back telling me that the doctor wants some blood work run and that he wants me to have an ultrasound. So, the blood draw occurs, I give a urine sample (the second one of that day) and then I'm off to radiology.

Now, at this point, I'm still not concerned or worried. I figure that baby is fine...and I'm ready to have the kid anyway, so it's okay. Well, I go for the ultrasound...which is one where they watch him for a half an hour and look for movement and also for breathing motions. 15 minutes in they haven't seen either. Now, his heart rate is perfectly fine...but even with poking and prodding, he isn't budging. They finally see breathing motions about 20 minutes in. At 30 minutes, he still hasn't moved. Then the technician says "I'll be back in just a minute". She returns with another person and they start looking at something on the monitor. For a full five minutes they talk in hushed tones and I have a meltdown. They can't tell me what they are looking at they just tell me to ask the doctor. I start bawling. They get me back to the room that I was in for the non-stress test and I call my mom (she is much, much closer to the hospital than my husband who I am also in contact with). I ask mom to come to the hospital because I am freaking out.

My doctor arrives about 10 minutes later and tells me that he is slightly concerned because of the drop in heart rate and the fact that baby failed the ultrasound test (darnit Jack, you failed your first test!). He indicates that he would like to induce labor that day. Baby will be better off out of the uterus than he is in there. I agree. So, they get me into a room and get me all hooked up to an IV and to the monitors and at 4:45 that afternoon they insert the cervadil which will help my labor progress.

The whole labor story would be rather long...but here are the highlights. I get the cervadil and have to lay flat on my back for two hours. it's horrible. Laying on your back is normally no big deal...but when you are 85 months pregnant and haven't laid on your back for about 7 months, its torture. So, at 6:45 I am able to get up. At this point, things are fine. I'm not feeling anything. The plan was for the cervadil to be in for 12 hours and at 4:45 in the morning they would start potocin. Well, I apparently had other plans. At about 9:00 that night, my water broke. My family had just left for the night and it was just Ryan and I there.

At about 10:30, I was in pain...horrible pain. I called my mom and told her that my water had broken and that I was hurting. About an hour later she decided to come back to the hospital. At about 2AM, I decided to get an epidural. I was expecting this to be slightly unpleasant, but I was excited for the relief it would provide. Yeah...then the nurse anesthetist arrived. I don't think he knew what he was doing. He had to stick me with the giant needle five times before he finally got it. Each time he would comment about how he was scraping the bone with the needle. Really? Cuz I'm pretty sure I can feel that buddy. So, he gets the epidural in and I lay down, excited that I will be in less pain and feeling good soon. Um, not so much. My epidural didn't really work. I had what's called a partial block...where parts of your body react but others don't. Unfortunately the area that I really needed to be numb didn't get numb. So, I was miserable.

Long story short, they gave me a delightful narcotic at about 1PM that didn't take the pain away but that made me loopy (I apparently told my sister to go get the car and to get me out of there). At 2:50PM it was determined that I was ready to push. The nurse told my mom that she thought I would probably push for two hours. Well, I was determined to get that kid out of there. He was born at 3:45PM (he would have been born sooner but my doctor wasn't there...and I had to not push for about 10 minutes...sweet jesus that was ridiculous). He was a whopping 7 pounds 14 ounces and was 19 inches long. Not too shabby for being two weeks early. I was exhausted and all I wanted was a shower and some food.

So, that's the story of how Jack Ryan came into the world. It was HORRIBLE (and no, I have not forgotten the pain yet), but he was worth it. I mean, look at this face...

Ugh...

So, as I approach 38 weeks in my pregnancy I am getting super miserable. I can't put my own shoes on unless they are flip flops. I woke up this morning and my back is killing me. This is a very hard time because every new symptom or issue I have can actually also be symptom of pre-labor. I'm seriously ready for this baby to make his appearance. I go to the doctor tomorrow and I am seriously hoping that I will have made some progress in terms of dilating. I am also hoping that we will be able to set a date for an induction if I haven't had this baby. The doctor promised that he wouldn't let me go past my due date...which is now in two weeks. So, we will see. I'm going into my appointment very hopeful that we will have some new news to share. I'm afraid that I will leave the appointment in tears if nothing has changed and nothing is planned.

But, in the meantime, I'm off to enjoy my Sunday...you never know...I could have a little baby boy in my arms next Sunday!

And an update...

Since I don't want to work today, it will be a two post day! This one will be very short. I went to the doctor on Monday for my 37 week appointment. I was really hoping that I had made some progress in terms of dilation from the previous week. Ummm...not so much. Still only a half centimeter dilated. I was devastated. As soon as the doctor left the room, I started crying. I couldn't stop myself! I felt like an idiot. I still technically have three weeks until my due date. But, I am so ready to have this baby! I just really thought that something else would be going on.

So, I go back to the doctor next Monday (May 18) and I have a list of options/questions to talk to him about. I am honestly hoping that he will schedule an induction date since he said that he won't let me go past my due date. He better stick to that or he will have one very angry pregnant woman. We will see. I'm going to try to enjoy the weekend...Ryan and I have a date set up for Saturday. We are going to go see Angels and Demons and then get some tropical sno (which is my current craving). We also have to do some cleaning at our house. That part isn't so much fun, but we need the house to be quasi-clean before baby comes home.

A letter to Jack

Ever since I found out I was expecting a little boy, I have been filling out an adorable little baby book for him. I'm determined to document my pregnancy and the first year of his life. In the book, there is a page for me to write a letter to Jack and for my husband to write a letter to him. I wrote my letter months ago. I have been trying to get the husband to write his for weeks, and he had promised to do so. You must understand that Ryan is a man of few words. He doesn't express his emotions well. When it comes to birthdays, Valentines Day, Mother's Day, etc. he always picks out cards with a lot of writing so that he doesn't have to write much. He always picks great cards that make me cry, so I don't mind. I know that he spends a lot of time finding the right card, so whether he wrote the words or Hallmark did, I know that the words mean something.

Finally on Tuesday night I told him that he absolutely had to write the letter to Jack that night. It was very important to me that both of those letters were written before his arrival. So, he started writing...there were numerous drafts. When I got home from work last night, I opened the baby book and read his letter. It was the most beautiful, thoughtful thing I had ever read. It was honest...he talked about how scared he was and how he worried he wouldn't be a good enough father. But he knew that had so many hopes and dreams for Jack...and that Jack was already his biggest accomplishment. I probably read that letter five times last night...and cried every time. It was like seeing my husband in a whole new way...and it was amazing.

I don't think that he has anything to worry about. He is going to be an incredible father to Jack. He loves him so much already (as I do) so I know that it will all be okay. So, it's now time for Mr. Jack to make his appearance. We absolutely cannot wait for him!

Scared Out Of My Mind...

Well, I went to the doctor yesterday for my 36 week appointment. I knew that this would be the time that they would start checking to see if I was progressing at all. Well, I am about a half centimeter dilated. It's not a lot, but it's something. I was pretty excited. The doctor also told me that if I went into labor now, they wouldn't stop the labor, they would let Jack come. I left the doctor in a great mood and texted my husband to give him all the dirt. As I was sitting at home last night, my euphoric mood went away and it all hit me. This baby is coming sooner rather than later!

I was glad that hubby was at work last night, because I needed a moment to myself. I sat in the nursery for the longest time and just stared at everything. Sure I have been working on that room for months. Sure I have felt this baby move inside me since late December. But, it wasn't until yesterday that it truly hit me that I will be a mom in a couple weeks. It seems like such a huge task. I have been around a lot of babies. I have changed a ton of diapers. I have fed a lot of bottles. But these kids always belonged to someone else. It's easy to care for an infant when you have specific care instructions. When it is your own child, you have to make up the rules. You have to make the schedule. You are responsible for their well-being and happiness. My dear, dear husband had never even changed a diaper until I forced him to change our nephew last week. He is pretty clueless when it comes to babies. I know that he is relying on me to be the voice of reason in those early weeks. I just don't know how to do that when I am so unsure of myself.

Please don't get me wrong. I am so excited to welcome Jack into our family. And I feel extremely blessed that we were able to conceive him without any difficulties (because I know plenty of people that try for years and years with no success). But, there is still that fear of the unknown. Not to mention all of the things that can go wrong. I read a lot of blogs. I am actually very new to the blog thing...and probably one of the first blogs that I really read religiously was this one. If you haven't read it, I would encourage you to go back to the beginning (at least to here) and read it from March 2008 to the present day. I will warn you, it will absolutely break your heart (have the tissues ready). But, in all of the tears, there is so much hope. But, in spite of the undeniable sense of hope that I feel as I read the more recent posts, I can't shake the feeling that something like that could happen to me. What would my wonderful husband do if I weren't around to help him raise our beautiful baby boy. Life can change in the blink of an eye. You never know what is going to happen. I know that is one of the most beautiful parts of life--the absolute unknown. But, lets be realistic. It's also scary as hell. But, I am trying to go into the next few weeks, months, and years with the thought that everything will be perfectly wonderful. You have to believe that...otherwise it would be impossible to get out of the bed every morning.

Four More Weeks

Well, since I haven't posted anything since March, you would think I would have a lot to say. Not so much! I am now nearly 36 weeks pregnant. Baby Jack should be here soon! I can't believe it is almost time! His nursery is ready for him. We feel like we are ready for him. Now it is just a waiting game. I go to the doctor tomorrow and hopefully I will find out that I have made some sort of progress. We will see though.

I could go on and on about how scared I am, etc. But, that will have to wait for tomorrow.

29 Weeks

I haven't updated this in forever. I am horrible! I reached 29 weeks in my pregnancy today. My little man seems to be doing very well. He moves around frequently and seems to be getting bigger. We had a 3D ultrasound last weekend...it was the most amazing experience of my life thusfar. Seeing that sweet little face on the screen was awesome. He has chubby little cheeks and the tech even said that he has hair already (which would probably explain all of the heartburn I have been having).

I can't really complain about pregnancy up to this point. I haven't been sick, I'm not experiencing any swelling so far. I have only gained 11 or 12 pounds up to this point. My only real complaint is that I have started having some heart palpitations. They were so bad early last week that I actually went to the doctor about them. All of my books indicated that palpitations were normal but that they would just last for a couple minutes. Mine were happening the whole day--for two days straight. Of course, they stopped as soon as I got to the doctors office. But, he decided to do some blood work and check for a couple things. I haven't heard anything back from them...or about my glucose screening. I go back to the doctor on Monday (I'm starting to go every two weeks now) so I guess I will hear all about the blood work then.

We got the crib put together, the nursery painted, and the chair rail put up. My baby shower is in two weeks...I am super excited about that! I don't feel at all prepared to have a baby, so I am hoping that I will feel a bit more prepared after I get "stuff" at the shower.

My main focus right now is making sure that I have a healthy baby boy. I love him so much already and can't wait to plant a big kiss on that little head!

In other news, I am rather stressed at work right now. There is a lot going on and my boss was acting kind of odd this afternoon. Who knows...maybe he was just having a not so good day (that or he just wanted to go home instead of staying for a 6:30pm meeting). I am hoping that tomorrow will be a little better. At least tomorrow is Thursday and I get to have a quiet weekend.

That's about it for now! Have a great rest of the week.

Let's get real

So, I hit a wall this weekend. Up until now, pregnancy has been great. It's been an experience filled with a lot of excitement. I have been very fortunate to have had a fairly easy pregnancy (knock on wood). That part hasn't changed. However, today, I realized that "holy crap, this kid is coming in a few months!!" The realization came when my friend Jenn called me and said "do you want to go shopping with me this afternoon?" I agreed to go...but then it hit me...that I wouldn't be able to just drop everything and do whatever I wanted to in a few months.

You should know that I am fiercely independent person. I want to do what I want, when I want. I don't want to ask anyone's permission before I go do something. I know that my life is going to change when the baby comes. I also know that I am going to love him with all my heart and that I will be a good mom. But, I have this fear that maybe I will resent him for taking away some of my independence.

I am absolutely sure that this is a very normal feeling to be having a few months before the arrival of your first child. I feel really guilty for even thinking like this though. Having a baby is all that I have wanted for a long time. My wonderful husband is so excited...I think he has told the whole world that we are having a boy. It's hard not to be excited when I see the smile on his face as he kisses my belly.

I know that days like this...full of uneasiness and uncertainty are just going to continue to become more common. But, at the end of the day, I just want to have a healthy, happy baby boy. I can't wait to meet him!

It's A...

Well, last week we went to the doctor for our 20 week ultrasound. I believe that I have mentioned in the past that I am very impatient, so obviously I wanted to know whether we were having a boy or a girl. I had been having dreams that they weren't able to tell me what it was, and I was devastated! However, that did not happen! As the ultrasound tech was looking around, she took a lot of measurements, and was telling us what everything was. My poor husband just had this look on his face like "I have no clue what I am looking at" most of the time. Sure he saw the head, but then she started pointing out the kidneys and stuff...and well, she lost him.

But, eventually, she said "so you want to know the gender?" Um, yes please! So...drumroll please...we are having a boy! Okay, I have to be completely, brutally honest. I had about two seconds of disappointment. I was really hoping for a girl. I've only ever been around girls, so I honestly don't know what to expect with a boy. But, that disappointment seriously lasted two seconds. He is healthy and growing as he should be. So, little Jack will be joining our family in May.

I have spent time registering for all sorts of cute baby stuff. Last weekend, I bought a crib. Now I just have to get my brother in law over here to paint the nursery so we can put the crib together! Can't wait! My baby shower date is set for April 4...it all seems so far away, but I know the next couple months will fly by and he will be here before I know it!

Can't I just be a lady of leisure?

One of the best parts of my job is that I get a ridiculous amount of time off at the holidays. Thus, I have been off work for the past two weeks. I have to go back to work on Monday...and I am dreading it! I know that everyone (save for a few really lucky millionaires and heiresses) has to work, but I just wanted to whine for a moment.

I love my job. I really, really do. I think that it is harder for me to go back this time because I know that the semester is going to be rough for me. It's going to be tough to get through a lot of events as I get bigger and more pregnant. But, people do it all the time, so I am sure that I will survive. My wonderful husband will help me out...

Speaking of pregnancy...Hubby and I find out the sex of the baby in about two weeks. We are both so excited. However, not quite as excited as I was when I felt the baby move for the first time last weekend. We have been trying to get hubby to catch the movement all week, and we think he finally felt it yesterday. The look he got on his face was amazing. It was this look for joy and excitement. So, things are progressing nicely. I am getting nervous, which I suppose is normal. I was holding my six month old niece a couple days ago and realized that I have so much to learn. I mean, what do I do when I bring this kid home? I don't know how to care for a baby all the time. Ugh...

17 weeks...and counting

As shocking as it is, I am 17 weeks pregnant. I absolutely can't believe it. Time is really flying by. I went to the doctor yesterday and everything is fine. Baby's heartbeat was nice and strong and baby was apparently kicking away (the doctor said he could feel it...I still haven't felt anything yet...at least I don't know that I feel it). The only odd thing was that I lost two pounds. Which means that I now weigh less than when I went to the doctor for my very first appointment at about 8 weeks. The doctor wasn't at all concerned because the baby is growing and seems to be very happy in there. He said that I would gain weight when I needed to and that as long as I am eating, everything is fine. So, I'm not going to worry about it. My mom said that she only gained 18 pounds with me and 16 pounds with my sister and was back into regular clothes within a couple weeks of having each of us. So, maybe I won't gain that much weight. Or, I'm about to blow up like a balloon and gain 30 pounds over the next couple months. But, we are very excited about our next appointment on January 19...when we get to find out whether little boo boo is a boy or a girl.

With that, I will leave you all with a Happy Holidays! I hope that the next few days are filled with family, friends, and a lot of good memories.

Hello My Name is...wait, what is my name again?

For many years, I have heard about the fact that women become forgetful when they are pregnant. I never really believed it...I have always had an amazing memory. I remember EVERYTHING! It is a really annoying fact that I can remember conversations word for work, etc. My husband knows that he can't win a conversation when it comes down to who said what because I always remember it. Well, this week, I have realized that you really do lose your mind when you get pregnant.

Case in point, early last week, I was at the mall. I went into a Payless store with a friend. Of course I have to try on the shoes (even though I have no intention of buying any since apparently my feet are going to grow too). So, I pick up a shoe from a box, put it on my foot, admire it for a moment, and then take it off. I go to put it back in the box on the shelf, but I don't immediately see it. No biggie, this has happened before. So, I look, and look, and look. Still, no shoe box with a missing shoe. Seriously, five minutes later I am still looking when I realize, holy crap...said shoe box is in my other freaking hand. Now, my friend thought this was hilarious when I told her as we left...I however freaked out! I am not ready to lose my mind!! Ugh!!!

But, in other news, I am still feeling pretty good...I am exhausted all the time, but I haven't been sick yet. I'm hopig that doesn't hit me. I go to the doctor a week from Monday...which I'm very excited about!

When it rains, it pours...but in a good way

In August, my husband and I decided to try to buy a house. We weren't sure if we would be able to get a loan or if we would find anything that we liked. But, we did get approved for a loan, and on our first trip out with our Realtor we found a house that we fell in love with. So, we put in an offer, which was accepted. But, one thing after another happened (more of that story later). But, finally, a month after our offer was accepted, we closed on the house. We moved in last weekend. It's a wonderful first home for us and I completely love it. I am still in the process of unpacking and organizing things, but it is coming along!

Before we got married, the hubby and I had the talk about kids. We both knew that we wanted to try to have kids right away. So, right before the wedding, I stopped taking my birth control. So, the first couple months passed with no real excitement. But, last month, I actively tried to determine when I would be ovulating so that we could really, really try. In the week leading up to the day I should have gotten my period, I was EXHAUSTED and emotional. The emotions I chalked up to the fact that I probably had PMS...the exhaustion I decided was from my lengthy work days and the preparations for moving.

This part might start with a bit of TMI for some...On Saturday, I had awful cramps. Which was really abnormal for me...because, well, I don't usually get cramps at all...and if I do, they don't hit until after I start. Here is the TMI part...my cycle is extremely regular. I start at the same time every month...I am never, ever late. I told hubby that I would start by noon on Sunday. He looked at me as if I had two heads or something. He just couldn't comprehend what I was saying. So, Sunday morning...nothing. I spent the day wondering, and hoping. We had to go to his parent's house so he could mow the grass (they had gone to Arizona to visit his sister). Eventually, at about 5PM that night, I finally went to Walgreens and bought a pregnancy test. I didn't actually take the first test until about 8PM that night. I read the directions, peed in a cup (that sounded easier than trying to pee on the stick) and waited. The directions said not to read the results for at least three minutes. I had purchased one of the tests that says "pregnant" or "not pregnant". So, I dipped the stick and tried not to look down. I probably made it about 30 seconds. I looked down, and it already said "pregnant". My hands immediately started shaking. I went downstairs with the test and walked over to my husband. He looked at me and said "Michelle, what's wrong? You look like you just saw a ghost!". I said, "I think I'm pregnant." He said, "Why do you think that?" To which I responded "because this test says I am". He looked at it and said "you took it already? Doesn't it take a while?" He later told me that he really thought pregnancy tests took at least half an hour to give results. We then decided that we would tell our immediate families (for him, his parents and his two sisters, for me, my parents, my sister, and my grandma), but that we would wait to tell anyone else until I had gone to the doctor.

My doctor won't see you until you are at least 8 weeks...so I am not going to the doctor until October 27...which means we haven't really told anyone...however, I did tell two of my good friends this week. They came over for dinner and kept flat out asking me if I was pregnant. Ryan and I had decided that if someone asked, we would tell them the truth. They were so excited! On Monday, my best friend Lise is coming to town just for one night for work (she lives in stupid Ohio...did you know that the full name of Ohio is Stupid Ohio? Sorry to anyone that lives in Ohio...I am sure it is lovely, but Ohio stole my best friend! I can't like it). I am going to tell her when she comes to town.

I guess that's it for now. I will definitely have much more to share as I progress in my pregnancy!