Monday, June 22, 2009


So, I have been struggling to write this post for a couple weeks. But, I'm finally ready to really write it.

So, anyone that knows me knows that my parents are divorced...and have been since I was six. Because of this, I'm close really only with my moms family. Of my moms family, my grandparents were the people that I was closest with. My grandma babysat me and my sister (and about two dozen other kids over the years). My grandpa was the only constant male influence in my life.

My grandparents were everything to me. My grandpa got sick...asbestoses...and passed away three years ago (July 11, 2006). I was absolutely devastated. (there is a side story of my grandpa passing away...Ryan and I went on our first official date on July 2 of that year. He came to my grandpa's funeral and it was literally that day that I knew we would be together for a very long time). I digress...

So, my grandma has been sick for a long time. But, she is a tough lady. This spring, she got pneumonia and ended up in the hospital and then in a nursing home for rehabilitation for a couple weeks. But, she got home. She was so excited for Jack to arrive. She love, love, loved babies. As you know, he came two weeks early. She couldn't wait to meet him. She didn't get to the hospital to meet him, so the Saturday after he was born (on May 23), I took him to her house and she met him. She was so excited to see him. That week, I brought him to her house several times.

You see, about a week before Jack was born, my grandma was put on Hospice care. We were told that she was going on it because her time with Home Health Care (the lovely people that had been coming a couple times a week since she came home from the Nursing Home) was running out (basically Medicare wouldn't pay for it anymore). In order to keep people coming to the house, they had to put her on Hospice. We had gone through this with my grandpa previously, so we knew what to expect.

However, the week that Jack was born, we were told that Grandma probably only had about two weeks to live. Then on Thursday the week after he was born, the hospice nurse told my mom that she didn't think Grandma would make it through the weekend. Imagine being all hormonal after just having a child and then learning that you were going to lose one of your favorite people in the world. I was a mess. On Friday my mom called me and said that she didn't think that it more than a day or so. I dropped Jack off at Ryan's parents and headed to grandma's house. I sat there for a couple hours before finally heading home that evening. My mom said she would call me if anything happened over night.

That night, I was asleep with Jack on the couch and I had a dream. It was my grandpa and he was telling me that he was with grandma and that she was okay. I woke up and was convinced that she had passed away and expected my mom to call. But, she didn't. The next morning I got to her house with Jack as soon as I could. My whole family just sat there and basically waited for her to pass away. She finally did at about 1:30 that afternoon. My sister was holding Jack sitting next to her. My mom, stepdad, and I were outside taking a break when it happened. it was so sad.

We miss grandma so much. But, we know that we took care of her. My mom promised my grandpa that she would take care of grandma and that we would keep her at home. We were able to do that.

We found out after she passed that she had a conversation with her best friend the week before Jack was born. Her friend talked about being tired and being ready to go. My grandma said that she wasn't ready yet because she had a baby coming. She was just waiting for Jack. So, the last picture we have of her is this one...with her newest great-grandson that she already loved so much.

I love you and miss you very much Grandma. Thank you for all you did to make me the person that I am today.

1 comment:

  1. Michelle, I can't believe I missed this post. I am beyond sorry for your loss. I am very close with my grandparents and completely understand your pain. I am so happy that she was able to meet Jack.